Wow
August 5, 2008 3:53pm
It's been so long since I have been here.
My divorce was final on July 18th and although sad to have it all come to this glad for the …
Progress
80 %
CynthiaLee’s Profile
-
CynthiaLee
is feeling Excellent
About Me
I am a Postal Clerk, work nights and work with my husband, or should I say my husband that left me. We had an age gap that I don't feel contributed to our demise. I am 12 years older than him. I am the youngest child with a large gap between my sister and I --she is 18 years older. I love West Virginia University Football and Basketball and am a season ticket holder. I pretty much grew up in a dysfunctional family and yearn to be needed and loved yet I can't get it right.
-
Recent Activity
- Sorry, there is no activity in the My Activity feed.
-
Journal
-
-
Doing Ok
April 18, 2008 5:28pm
Well, the stbx is off from work for two weeks on vacation. Of course for one of the weeks he has chosen to go where we always went. Where …
-
Back and Forth
April 3, 2008 12:54pm
Just when I think I am doing well and will be ok, wham. Something hits me and I feel like I am back to square one. His attitude towards …
-
-
Photos
-
-
Support Groups
Close Breakups & Divorce
Thought we were in love, perfect planning for many things in the future when March 3, 2007 he said he didn't know if he loved me anymore and it went so far down hill he left wtith the so called intention of working on it in late August...not what happened. He professes to hate me and the thing I could do to make him happy would be to die.
Treatments
- Leave Somewhat Helpful
- Went for a week to North Carolina Outer Banks with my dog in January. I felt great that I could accomplish this on my own and I didn't just wish he was there. But I knew I had to come back to reality and it sucks.
- Music Not Working
- Everything reminds me of us or him or something we did or somewhere we went...you get the idea.
- Pets Working / Worked
- They love me unconditionally, they are always happy to see me and take time from my alone time. They need me.
- Psychotherapy Somewhat Helpful
- Really though someone can only tell you so many times that it isn't you and you are a wonderful person that deserves better so much before it seems useless.
- Reading Somewhat Helpful
- I know what I should be doing but it just isn't that easy.
- Support from Friends & Family Not Working
- They only want me to be better. They care, they love me but they cannot replace what I so deparately miss.
- Talking Somewhat Helpful
- Feel better after venting but it lasts for just a bit. Then I just question everything I have said and done and feel like it is all my fault. Like I am not worthy of a loving relationship.
- Time Not Working
- For a bit I feel like I may make it and then the pain washes over me and I feel like dying. Seeing him everyday does not help at all.
- Xanax Working / Worked
- When I take it I stop shaking and I can function. I don't like being dependent on medicine to survive this at all. Limit it to when I feel so out of control.
Close Depression
Type: Clinical (Major) DepressionMy husband decided he hates me, we work together and I love him. I am on Prozak and have a Zanax presription for when it gets really bad. I feel it has helped. I used these many years ago also with results of helping me feel better.
Treatments
- Prozac Working / Worked
- I feel it works, it takes a bit of time and I had to up the doseage to get better results.
- Psychotherapy Somewhat Helpful
- Not sure about this, I talk they listen. Tell me it is not me...but seems to just be repetitive and can only go so far. Need to help me myself.
-
Snapshot
CynthiaLee hasn’t been active on the site in a while. Why not give CynthiaLee a hug?
