christineurbanJOHN's Journal

Couple things - my sis graduates HS tomorrow CONGRATS!

I really want fathers day to come and then again I dont. I want it to come because I want to get my tattoo. No one in my family knows I am getting it done. This is the longest I have kept something from my family. They are going to be SHOCKED. I am lost because I dont feel my dad around me anymore. I normally would feel him around me or I would get goosebumps like he was close by. I dont get those feelings anymore. I want him to come back if that was him. I want those feelings back. It was comforting. Its still a wow for me and I guess I have come to realizing that he is gone and I am fine with it I guess you could say but its weird. I have really bad days every once in a while but they are spread out now. I still feel like I cant talk to matt because he is "sick" of it. I work today through next thursday and I am not happy about that. It means that next week is going to go by really slow.