Journal Entry for July 21, 2008
July 21, 2008 12:09pm
Yesterday we went to the cemetary to see if my dads footstone was delivered yet and it was. The deer looks a lil funky but when we see or even talk …
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christineurbanJOHN’s Profile
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christineurbanJOHN
is feeling OK
waiting for an answer that will now come...
Recently: 2 hugs received, 1 journal post more …
About Me
I lost my dad on November 6th of 2007 to a heart attack. My brother and dad went hunting that weekend and my brother woke up and found my dad not breathing on November 4th. He was rushed to the hospital and never woke up. We came to a difficult decision to take my dad off of life support November 6th 2007. Me and my dad had a very distant relationship during his passing and now the guilt is literally killing me. I don't use the people around me and find my pushing away when I know I should be doing the opposite. I miss my dad very much.
Interests
My life revolves around my family and my boyfriend of 5 years. I have a little sister(17) and little brother(14).
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Recent Activity
Monday
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christineurbanJOHN updated their status 9:13pm
waiting for an answer that will now come...…
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christineurbanJOHN wrote a journal entry: Journal Entry for July 21, 2008 12:09pm
Yesterday we went to the cemetary to see if my dads footstone was delivered yet and it was. The deer…
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christineurbanJOHN posted a new photo 12:06pm
I cannot believe that this day has come. It is surreal and we miss you dad!…
July 16
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christineurbanJOHN updated their status 2:40pm
waiting for my dads footstone to arrive ... ANY DAY ...…
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christineurbanJOHN gave Divis a Hug 2:39pm
HAPPY BELATED BDAY…
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Journal
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Journal Entry for July 13, 2008
July 13, 2008 9:53am
I BOUGHT MY CAR! my very first car and I am very excited!!! I got a white pontiac g6 coupe and its fabulous!!! tomorrow(monday) i do have to bring it …
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Journal Entry for July 6, 2008
July 6, 2008 1:29pm
I havent been on in a while ... just trying to enjoy my life and get on with it. My sisters grad party was june 28th and that was interesting. My …
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Journal Entry for June 25, 2008
June 25, 2008 7:36pm
Is it my time to just die? It feels like I am ready to go see my dad ....
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Journal Entry for June 25, 2008
June 25, 2008 7:20pm
When my dad died in NOV 2007 I was very forward with telling my mom I wanted him buried. Now with all of this going on I am so mad. My dad was …
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Hugbook
Hug
You sound like you are doing better, I hope you have a nice weekend. Enjoy the new car. Luv and hugs, Lori
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Hug
Thank you for the Bday hug, here is one right back at you
Hug
i am so sorry for you loss. here is a great big bear hug for you.
Hug
Hug
You need to do what feels right for you. My sister and I had small wood hearts made with a bit of my mom's ashes inside. The rest will go next to my grandpa ( her father ) sometime this summer. When we feel up to it. My parents were also no longer married so my sister, my aunt and I have been doing the best we can. I hope you can find a way to make peace with what ever you deceide.
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Photos
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Support Groups
Close Bereavement
Type: Loss of a ParentApril 6th will be 5months since my dad passed away. Brother was hunting w/him and woke up & found my dad not breathing, he never woke up. November 6th we took my dad off of max life support. It was awful(autopsy concluded it was a heart attack). My parents divorced yrs ago & I never saw him. He tried but its like I didnt care. Dont know why. I live w/guilt, regret and pain everyday now! I miss him so much!
Treatments
- Crying Not Working
- I cry alone because I feel like I make others uncomfortable.
- Getting Angry Not Working
- Grief Counseling Considering
- Keeping Busy Somewhat Helpful
- It works while I am busy but as soon as it stops I am right where I started.
- Remembering Working / Worked
- I find my self repeatedly watching is funeral video and going to his obituary. I cry everyday.
- Support from Friends & Family Working / Worked
- My family(mom,sis and bro) are my world but without the man in my life I wouldn't be here. At times I feel I make them uncomfortable.
- Support Groups Considering
- Talking Not Working
- It helps to vent and get it off my chest but the pain starts right back up again.
- Time Not Working
Close Diets & Weight Maintenance
I am extremely paranoid of what I look like and eat.
Treatments
- Counting Calories Somewhat Helpful
- Frustrating more than anything.
- Eating Healthier Foods Working / Worked
- I feel better about myself when I dont eat all that gross greasy foods.
- Eat Less Working / Worked
- I feel smaller and that I will lose weight faster if I barely eat.
- Physical Exercise Working / Worked
- I feel amazing after I am done with the gym but always feel like I should of been there longer.
Open Depression Supporters
My dad died in November 07 and had severe depression. I have never been diagnosed with depression but I honestly feel as if I am.
Open Healthy Relationships
Been with my boyfriend for 5 years in July
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Groups
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