OldManBear's Journal

Bear did a stupid thing yesterday. He took fresh removable pelts for the wedding, but instead of wearing comfy paw covers and changing, he wore his dressy paw covers all day!

[smotes forehead]

The parade was good. The raw, unedited photos are up on my picasa site already. The crowd was as entertaining as the cars. I got there two hours early and hiked in from a mile away because the close parking was already taken. I had my trusty bear-capacity folding chair, some water, and my camera. The smart people were on skates, but a bear on roller skates would not be a pretty sight at all. I walked around and got some shots of the cars being staged for the parade. as always the LobsterMobile is my favorite and the owner has added some features this year. In addition to the lobsters that stand up and dance and the fish that wiggle, he added a lead singer (Fish with a microphone) and a conductor (lobster with a baton). I chatted with Miss Margaritaville, a lady I had met years earlier at a ParrotHead function. By that time, i was ready to sit.

I found a good location under a tree and set up my chair, schmoozed the people around me, and took crowd shots until the parade began. All went well until the Gooney Lady sat next to me with her Sane, but embarrassed Daughter and Dotty Old Man.

Gooney Lady won't shut up and her conversation is like kindergarten teacher speaking to pupils, "That's the MAYOR on that car. Do you know what the MAYOR does?" Two hours of this. Sane, but embarrassed daughter just studied the concrete and mentally chastised herself for bringing mom and pop out for some sun instead of leaving them at the home. Dotty old man is ogling the young women and making remarks like, "That girl with the huge teats! We could have used her back at the dairy!"

What's that you ask? Why didn't move? There was no where to go. The parade had started and I was stranded on the median there with Gooney Lady sat next to me with her Sane, but embarrassed Daughter and Dotty Old Man.

That was when the Gods or the Old Ones decided that I was having too much fun, so they sent me Drunken Asshole with Bad Camera. Prior to his waking up (he had been napping peacefully) I had hopes of selling some of my photos. Nope! Drunken Asshole with Bad Camera ruined about 70 or so shots (the number I had to delete) because he had to stand in the street and get within two feet of each car to take his pictures. When asked politely to stay on the median, his reply was to flip the bird, invite someone (or everyone) to self-impregnate, and grope himself. What photos I did take were after the cop took Drunken Asshole with Bad Camera away. By this time, I was surrounded by ill-mannered, mostly intoxicated rude people who either were never taught how to behave in public or just forgot. If I'd had a nuclear weapon, I'd have triggered it. That's how angry I was, and it's a good indication that I am not ready to be around crowds or cities again. I need more therapy.

A mile and half hike later, i got in my car turned on the air conditioning and tried to mellow. I changed clothing at the library, hoping no kid would come in because I just knew that a vice cop would be right behind him while my pants were down. Yes, I was out of sight in the handicapped stall, but goofy things happen. 

Three hours later, I had succeeded in adjusting my attitude quite well. That was when I had the honor of joining Miss Naomi Eisenlohr and Mr Rob Franklin in holy matrimony. The wedding was at The Houston Museum of Natural Science in the Butterfly Atrium and Rainforest. The bride was possibly the most beautiful to date (but then I always say that) and a good time was had by all. Yes, I did hang around for some wedding cake. That is one of the perks to being a wedding officiant.

By the time I got back south to Texas City, I was ready to fall down - so I did! I skipped dinner and hit the hay until noon today. I got up and edited the parade (http://picasaweb.google.com/bearjones/HoustonArtCarParade10May2008) and wedding photos that I took.

That brings me up to now. My hind paws still hurt.