Journal Entry for July 4, 2008
July 4, 2008 12:30am
~~TODAY'S SCRIPTURE~~
I John 3: 2,3
2. Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But …
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starfish’s Profile
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starfish
is feeling Good
Oh, so THIS is how this thingy works!!!
About Me
Tired, and feeling old. Been on the healing and forgiveness trail for over 20 years. I've lost my oldest son to suicide, and have three other surviving adult children. I haven't been able to work since he died, and waiting for my Social Security hearing soon. Wait...wait....wait...wait...
Interests
Seeking God for truth and restoration. Not always sure the two are compatable!! My children, sewing, cooking, gardening, journaling, reading, DS-ing. I love cats, horses, and most other critters, too. As long as they are not trying to eat my cats!!
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Journal
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I THINK I'M SCREWED
July 3, 2008 7:42pm
I have spent the entire day writitng about three pages of stuff I intend to say when I am allowed to speak in my behalf at my SSI hearing on the …
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Journal Entry for July 2, 2008
July 2, 2008 12:17am
~~TODAY'S SCRIPTURE~~
Proverbs 29:25
25. Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept …
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My New Therapist
July 1, 2008 10:37pm
Day 3
In my little "decompression notebook" I wrote:
blows. Got nowhere. Talked about how I shut down, and now I'm shut …
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Hugbook
Hug
ssi, ssd lawyers are FREE they work on percentage. PLEEEEEEEASE HIRE a new lawyer as quickly as possible. find the firm with the BIGGEST ad in the yellow pages, they will have the staff to cover you, and the clout to get an extension of time until they have all of the information sent to them from the other firm. the other firm is COMPELLED to give the new lawfirm your information that is the law. if you don't have a lawyer they can drag it on forever
Hug
Thank you for the flowers. Let me know how you are doing when you get a chance. Love you
Hug
huggs and a wish for a calm relaxing fourth of july and thanks to all my friends
Hug
No, I don't but you can call on Monday and ask, it can't hurt. And even if you can't you can still tell the ALJ that you have decided you want an attorney or have more info that needs to be considered. S/he should be able to reschdule or delay a decision. It won't hurt to ask. I've got to go to bed now, I'm working tomorrow but feel free to write, I'll read it when I get up.
Prayer
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Support Groups
Close Depression
Type: Clinical (Major) DepressionSo far I have spent 20 years and found nothing that helps relieve my depression for very long. Most recently, I am having to come to terms with the fact that my father was diagnosed with BP disorder, and for years thought it was wrong. Then I found out, after my oldest son committed suicide, that irritability and agitation can be part of the manic phase. Then it all made sense. For my dad, for my son, and for me. But now, I don't care anymore.
Treatments
- Prozac Somewhat Helpful
- I got relief, but also more extreme suicidal feelings. I felt better and could not longer afford medication so stopped after 7 months
- Psychotherapy Somewhat Helpful
- I have spent 20 + years in and out of therapy. It has been helpful for acute problems, but not for long term results.
- Elavil Not Working
- Do not recall anything specific other than it did not make much difference one way or the other.
- EMDR Somewhat Helpful
- Seemed to help for some specific issues, but overall, did not make much difference.
Close Bipolar Disorder
My father had bipolar disorder, and for years I did not think he really had it. Then my oldest son committed suicide last year, and I found out that agitation and irritability can be part of the manic phase, and the pieces of the puzzle all came together. Unfortunately, it is too late for my son. But now I am so depressed and out of resouces, I don't really care anymore.
Open Bereavement
Type: Loss of a ChildThis is so nice to be able to have online support groups. I am becoming more and more withdrawn, and it is getting difficult to get around - financially and physically as well as emotionally. Anyway, as far as bereavement goes, I am attracted to this group mainly because of the loss of my oldest son last year. But I have many other losses in my life as well, and when they are painful, they never quite go away. After a lifetime of adding up pain and loss, it gets overwhelming to deal with.
Treatments
- Crying Working / Worked
- I used to get called a "cry baby" when I was a child, which I was. So I guess crying is natural for me. I think it is the best form of therapy.
- Psychotherapy Somewhat Helpful
- Therapy helps, but like finding a good mechanic, if you find one you like, keep them! But they aren't there at 1 or 2 AM when it really hurts.
- Ice Pack Working / Worked
- My dad told me once that ice cream is the best antidepressant. I have to agree with that, especially if it has chocolate in it. But crying has no calories.
Open Multiple Personalities
I've had three good therapists tell me I have it, and two good therapists tell me I couldn't possibly. And one really raunchy one that supposed I have it, but she doesn't count. Does she?
Open Military Families
My mother's father served in the US Navy, as well as my brother and oldest son, Isaac. My now oldest son, James, served in the Marines and is now in the Army. (Isaac passed away 9/17/05) My youngest son Jon is now stationed at Ft. Sam Houston training to be a medic and wants to go to Iraq.
Treatments
- Prayer Working / Worked
- All I can do is pray for them. The rest is out of my hands.
Open Sexual Abuse
I've been abused many times over
Open Pet Bereavement
I grew up in such a dysfunctional family, my animal friends became my family, and the animals lived in the house, as far as I'm concerned. I have lost many friends over the years. And I miss them all. I have learned a great deal from them about love, compassion, understanding, that I certainly never could have learned in the house.
Open Rape
I am joining this community to post a topic for another member
Open Physical & Emotional Abuse
I am joining this community to post a topic for another member
Open Codependency
Well, yet another crash and burn in my life, and the fact that I grew up with two alcoholics, and the recommendation of the community by one of my DS friends, has finally landed me here. I just recently looked up the term "codependency" and "enabler" after that recommendation, because I have heard the term a lot but never really knew what it was, exactly. So here I am.
Treatments
Open Endometriosis
starfish hasn’t entered any details for this support group.
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