wjztrimmer's Journal

Journal Entry for February 25, 2008 Mood

Monday, February 25, 2008

I can't say that it is easy to forgive my wife for having an affair. There is nothing like the betrayal I felt or the anxiety I experienced. I felt like I was going crazy and had days when I couldn't trust myself. I am in the process of forgiving her and it looks like this:

1- I am not in the position to crucify her because I too have done hurtful things to her and to others.

2- When it all comes down to it, my wife betrayed herself and she realizes that.

3- I love my wife and she loves me. She screwed up and she knows it.

4- My wife is doing everything she can to assure me of her love. She has been remorseful.

5- When I don't forgive, I imprison myself. I will set myself free by forgiving her.

UPDATED GOALS

Forgive my Wife

Progress 45%

Encouragements: 3

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Comments

One thing I've read about forgiveness is that one shouldn't try to do it too soon. Forgiveness is your goal, but there isn't a race going on. Let it progress naturally; it's only been a few weeks!
My wife was hurtful to me, and she's admitted that. You are very brave to admit your role in the marriage going bad. Most betrayed partners on this site find it hard to see their contribution to what happened. It's not the same thing as saying the affair was justified, but it's healthy to step back and look at the big picture and see how one set of events lead to others.
I hope you're reading some self-help books. We do counseling, together and separately, but books about affairs can be useful to both spouses. "After the Affair" by Janis Spring really is good, even after reading only a few sections by skipping around a lot.

Infidel
i don`t think i know how to forgive!! i really want to learn!! you said you`ve done hurtful things, like what?? how can it compare to an intimate betrayal??? how can you get past the intimate part 7 make love to that person again when they shared such an important part of themselves with someone else? how can you get past the betrayal of vows for better or WORSE!!! IT DOESN`T SAY FOR BETTER OR WORSE DEPENDING WHAT THE WORST IS!!!! anyway, stay strong & true to who you are & keep on forgiving if that`s what you want to do. for a man a give you alot of credit , no offense, i just never thought a guy would be able to get past infidelity!! i hope your wife knows how lucky she is in having you for her husband! good luck!! keep me updated.

wino