Spiritually I feel better. Physically …
Spiritually I feel better. Physically I feel like I have been beaten with a stick...... My trip to the mountains turned …
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I've looked under rocks and on top of mountains and I haven't found a pill that can ease my pain. I quit smoking only to pick up a cigarette yesterday which I quickly threw away, because it only caused me to feel worse. I had horrible dreams last night about people stealing all the things that were special to me, and a dream about being chased in an abandoned building that used to be my home. I can't get a break. When I look at J, all I see is her laying in bed naked with another man. I view her as dirty and it takes everything I have to let her touch me...it gives me the creeps. I often feel like I want to hurt her when I'm in bed with her, so I leave. I want out...
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Running won't fix anything. I know you know that intellectually, but the heart plays tricks on your mind, sometimes. Hang in there.
pianogirl