angelofthedarknite's Journal

I thought I better update this, its about bloody time...
Well, just had counselling, another hard out session, I told my counsellor I cut again... yes I fucking cut... so angry with myself. My counsellor Charlotte asked me what was going on when I did it, and I said "coz I had a cutting vision and couldn't stop myself." She asked "y couldn't I stop myself?" and my reply was, "because I don't know how to! The razor is my best friend, yet it's my worst enemy and when I get a vision, it won't go away until I act out on it." She asked me if it was a voice in my head as well as a vision, and I said yeah, its my mum and dad's voice and the vision is like a movie... its not a picture, its a moving thing, like a movie... its a harsh destructive thing and I told her near the end of my session that I have another vision. I HATE THIS SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!