alexana's Journal

I was just looking back through my journal to the very first entry - 13th March when my life was forever altered.  Nearly four months have passed and these have probably been the toughest four months of my life.  But I made it. 

I came so very very close to ending it all believing my life was over, there was no hope and no future and that was that.  Well, the ex is still very much the ex, his behaviour throughout this ordeal has been dispicable however I have now moved on.  

I discovered not long after he left, that he ddn't leave to have his own space but rather and as I suspected all along for another woman, who I am convinced gave him an ultimatum.  

He chucked his old life to begin a new one with this woman and in the process discarded me, his home, belongings, job, the lot.  Throughout this all there we have spoken perhaps three or four times, the last two of which have been by email - his being one in a tone you would use to your bank manager, not a wife of 14 years.

I have finally come to realise and accept that he was so thoroughly miserable that this was the only way he knew how to move on with his life.  Which is fine because I have with mine.

I met someone who is good to me and good for me.  It is early days but I believe there is a future and this has given me a new perspective on myself and on life.   I am beginning to live again, to do things I never thought I would be doing again.

I have survived.