KristiKat's Journal

I’ve added a goal to journal more. It’s something that I want to do, yet, am hesitant. I think my main obstacle is facing my feelings and then of course dealing with them… not my favorite thing to do. haha. 

I will begin… 

I get to see my boyfriend tonight. We have been out of contact for the last week while he’s been in rehab. They do not allow contact with the ‘outside world’ for the first 7 days that they are in there. While I can understand the concept, it’s really hard. When you are used to seeing someone all the time and speaking to them whenever you have the desire to, to have contact completely severed is a huge change. I’ve tried to hold on and keep myself busy, but there are just times when the loneliness gets the best of me. I am so thankful that I have my kitties, because I don’t think I could have made it this far without them. So, today he got to call me for the first time and I am going to go and see him after work. The contact is very limited – he is not allowed to leave the vicinity of the center. So, we’ll walk around the block or sit in the parking lot of whatever. I don’t care, I’m just excited to finally see him! 

This past month has been a bit of an upheaval. This is not his first time in rehab. Unbeknownst to me, he admitted himself on June 11th. Now, don’t get me wrong – I have been praying and hoping for this for longer than I can to remember. But we were in a really bad place financially, owed 2 months back rent and I left him that morning thinking when I got home he’d have the money that we owed and we would be all set. He never came home that day or the next. Or the next... I didn’t know what to think. I started calling all of the jails to see if he was there (yes, I know, quite negative, but it’s a fact of our lives it seems.) I couldn’t find him there. It was a very terrible time for me. Finally he called. And he told me where he was. Like I said above, they don’t allow them any contact with the world for the first 7 days and they wouldn’t let him call me. I’m not going to lie, it wasn’t a great week. I had so many doubts and fears and just sadness not knowing where he was. But the plus side of all of it, was HE WAS FINALLY IN REHAB!!! And he checked himself in too!!!  

It’s no secret that Steve has been in some trouble… god, what an understatement. He was facing a 10 day jail sentence in Ozaukee county for some of the theft charges. So, Monday, July 23rd, he had to leave rehab and serve his time…. At this time, I was in Minnesota with my mom visiting my sister and my nephews. It was like the worst possible timing for the trip, but I couldn’t really get out of it (long story).

to be continued... sorry to cut it short, but time is getting away from me, and like i said, i get to see steve tonight! I have to go get ready! LOL