NitaSue62's Journal

in my sophomore year of high school, i started dating a guy who was a senior. He was so sweet to me. i got to meet his sweet grandmother....we ate dinner with her one sunday afternoon. met his parents and socialized with them quite a few times. The guy's name was James. He was into boating and racing his Nova that he'd fixed up. we had alot of fun together for about 3 months.

I had told James at the beginning that i wanted to wait until i was married to have sex, and he was cool about that.

Around the 4 month mark of our dating, James started to be verbally abusive to me. he laugh at me and make fun of me. i was so naive and stupid, and had no backbone, so therefore, i just took the abuse as the truth and cried alot when alone.

one saturday afternoon, we went to his friends house for a pool party for the recently graduated Seniors. Supposedly, this was going to be a big bash with lots of kids. i was really excited about it. i had gotten a new bikini for the occasion. I was a very modest young lady and i always felt self-conscious about my figure.

so james and i get to the house, and there's nobody there. james told me that we were early when i questioned the fact that the house was empty. i went to the fridge to get a soda, and all that was in there was beer.hmmmm.

james was sitting out on the enclosed deck that overlooked the pool, sitting on a kind of lounge chair.

he asked me to show him my new bathing suit, so i did. and then quickly put my t-shirt back on. i was feeling really nervous.

james motioned for me to come to him, patting the chair cushion. i did and we kissed a little bit. then all of a sudden, he got rough and pushed me down on the chair and got on top of me, kissing me really hard on the lips and neck. trying to get my bathing suit bottom off, with me crying stop it, stop it, you're hurting me, stop it james!!!  He was still on top and i could feel his erection...that totally freaked me out. i hadn't ever felt that before and the way he was moving on me was so painful. i don't know how long he tried to rape me, but it seemed like forever. i don't know, but i think i had a guardian angel that day because james was a big guy...he could've very easily have raped me. all of a sudden, he let me go, got up, yelled at me to go get in the car so he could take me home.

he admitted that there was no party, that he and his friend had planned this to get an opportunity to have a day filled with sex and drinking.

he berated me all the way home, calling me a dumb ass, stupid, frigid, bitch, cunt, whore.

when he pulled up in my driveway, he pushed me out of the car when i opened the door. i was just sobbing so hard, but i got control of the tears before i went inside b/c i didn't want to tell anyone.

james backed out of the driveway and i never saw him again. 

see how stupid i was?