is feeling OK
I am a student in the UK with an asian background and find it very difficult to concentrate on my study. Having distance from home brings me a lot of issues and childhood memories that might have been abusive(I'm still not sure). I believe I am changing and whatever I'm going through now is meant to happen, and that I will gain passion towards my field and I will regain fulfillment in learning new languages, new instruments, reading books non-stop etc. ;)
February 29, 2008 12:46pm
Feeling good book by David Burns is helping me stop thinking negatively, which is pretty cool.
Still doing very little work though..
February 7, 2008 6:43am
Been crying a lot last night. Feel soooo embarassed the day after, cuz if it was going to pass anyway, why didn't I at least get some …
February 6, 2008 6:23am
Gave first piano lesson in a very long time. I'm glad it went well.
I feel loads more comfortable teaching adults than children. …
February 5, 2008 12:25pm
Oh dear... wasted the day doing internet rubbish. It's already 5.30 and dark outside..
February 4, 2008 9:42pm
I saw a recent picture of my parents online in my sister-in-law's blog and realised I've always felt repect seeing his face but never looked …
A New Support Group For Abuse & Rape Survivors http://dailystrength.org/groups/su...
Your welcome. I'm glad it helped.
read ur post hope u are ok. lol x
when i have more time i would love to share mine w u
Go for it and express yourself. That is really all there is to it. Have fun and let the words flow.
Progress
10 %
I am starting to believe I was abused by my dad,but it is so very unclear, I am still confused. I know he loves me and cares about me,but sometimes his disires of intimacy was intrusive. I don't think his intension was to abuse me at all and that's why I feel guilty about labeling him that way. I've confronted both my parents at the same time and my mom cried a bit, but then said"How dare you think that" My dad got cross with her for that and said he was sorry,but I feel like nothing is solved.
Having distance from family after some 25 years, now I am starting to address issues from my childhood, which distress me NOW.
I've had an abusive parent and thought it'd be a miracle if anyone wanted me as a woman (other than my father). I actually felt 'relieved' at the age of 15 when a schoolboy stroked my bottom feeling eroused in a rush-hour bus when I was going to school. I thought a miracle had happened when I had my first boyfriend at 20 but didn't have a healthy relationship. I met a lot of other men since then - even some abusive ones (or I was letting them be in charge)
My boyfriend has asthma and apparantly it causes ED. I want to help, but all he says is he needs to be more careful on his diet so the asthma would get better. It's as if there isn't a 'real' answer to it. We've made love properly last summer for the last time, as far as I remember, and he hasn't ejaculated since. I really do love him and wish we could have a good sexual relationship, especially for his self-esteem as well.
I've been suffering from symtoms of atopic eczema (SEVERE itchiness and dryness) since I was 8 and I've got it fairly under control now with a fasting retreat and subsequent restricted diet, but I have been to all sorts of doctors, even tried various korean medicine (for some reason this skin condition has become very common in south korea) Still need to pay close attention I'm sooooooo glad I'm not suffering as much as I did before. I think god has blessed me at last.
I have a whole set of family of 3 generations in my head with mostly highly gifted and very attractive personalities. I never tell anyone about these 'people', but every time I think about them, which is nearly all the time, I feel really good. A bit like playing SIMS but much better cuz I can control everything.
