Thehouseofboo's Journal

I feel so weak. I know it's mostly from lack of activity. Since i quit my job over a week ago i haven't done much. I mostly lay in bed or sit at the computer. My hand seems to be getting a bit better. I can touch and rub my fingers together without wanting to scream. Everything else seems to be remaining the same.

I have my second psychiatrist appointment today at 3. I'm kind of nervous. I felt great after the first session but for some reason i'm dreading this follow-up.

I gotta stop drinking so much. I've drank almost every night for the past 10 days. My boyfriend and i bought a shaker last night, some tequila, triple sec, and margarita mix and i made margarita's. They were delicious. I had one too many though. In our drunken stupors we decided i should be a bartender because my drinks came out so perfectly. Of course, i would never become one. Anyway, liquor induced ideas aside, i need to control myself. I feel like crap every morning upon waking as is from the MS but the heavy drinking is magnifying it. Plus, it's not aiding in my weight loss. I gotta lose 3 lbs and get back down to 140 and from there work on getting to 135. I need to go back to the gym.

We went to the park the other day and i could barely finish one lap. My legs felt like they were gonna give out and i had to plop on a bench half way through to recover some of my strength. I'm 21, i should be able to walk three quarters of a mile no problem.