DsrtKnght's Journal

Well, I finally spoke with my wife about finances.  After withholding any financial support and waiting for her to come to me, I broke and raised the topic.  I discussed how unfair it was for me to continue to pay her $10K per month (or 10 months of child) support since I moved out while she refused to work or make efforts towards reconciliation.  She complained how bad she felt that she couldn't buy food for our kids but this was not enough motivation for her to find more work.  But the sucker I am, I brke down and provided another $4k for her to pay the mortgage and a few more bills over the next couple of weeks.

After completing our discussions, I took the boys kayaking, bought shoes for them, bought food, and took them bowling while my wife took a nap before going to work.  I spent another $150 on my family outside of the money I transferred to my wife for bills.  But the boys were spoiled brats.  They refused to listen and my youngest decided to spend his night pinching me (leaving bruises).  As much as I hated to spank him it was the only thing that got his attention.

Had a quiet night with the kids and once my wife returned, I let her sleep for a couple of hours before taking the boys out kayaking again.  I even got my wife to spend some time kayaking with the boys.  But once I got home, I was determined to close out my online dating profiles I had created to communicate with my wife on the Ireland dating website.  Once there, I found that my wife, who had just spent Saturday morning crying about how should couldn't feed our boys, had reactivated her premium account and was still visitng the site every day.  so, while she was not making enough money to provide for our kids, she had enough money to spend on her online profile and enough free time to spend in chat and exchange emails with men online.  Instead of spending time working, earning a living, and providing for our kids, she spent her time online.  Maybe I'm missing something here but I felt like a sucker/fool and told her so in an email.

Based upon this, I plan on moving back into our house at the end of my travels.  By the 3rd week of May, i expect to be living in my own home offering my wife an option to work on reconciliation, moving out on her own for a while or seeking divorce.  I don't want to be this confrontational but I hate feel like I'm being played like a fool.  Will discuss this with my counselor tomorrow and get his feedback/guidance.