hoopigapi's Journal

New Day....

Nice evening, laid in bed with my husband last night and talked about the rage and meds...he was supportive, I cried a lot.

I thought about something else yesterday....he wanted the whole world to know he loved me and that is why he married me, he didn't want ANYONE to know about her, he never even told one of his friends. (I could look at that as him just hiding it because he was ashamed, but I am NOT going to see that side of it) He could have left me and married her but he didn't.

I told him thank you yesterday for telling me he never wants to see that "blonde whore" ever again. He hates the word whore and I know he said it for my benefit.

Left him a message on his cell phone on my way to work telling him I love him and hope he has a good day.

Oh, had a few almonds this morning and a 12oz can of tomato juice on my break.

People at work are trying to feed me.

I am actually laughing some today. And one of the guys told me I am looking good and smiley today. He told me I am rockin" it today.       SO PUT THAT IN YOUR SMOKE AND PIPE IT!!  (yes, I know that is backwards, that is what makes it funny!)  :)

This isn't even like when I had a good day last time....this is like I feel like myself before I found out about the affair. I am laughing and joking and don't have the dark around the border of my day.

I think hope brings a great deal of peace. God is giving me hope and I am just trying to learn to stop resisting His great plan for me and listen to Him. He has been guiding me and telling me what I need to do when I have actually paid attention. Too often it is easier to hear satan and do what he wants me to do.

Doing the good and right thing isn't always the easy thing but I know it pays off in the end.

BULLETIN: It is 12:15pm and I haven't had a cigarette today. I usually have one in the morning right before work, one on break and one or two at lunch. It's a start.  I AM rockin' it today!!  :)