JustGettingBy's Journal

I am having a difficult time with my daughter right now.  I don't know what to do anymore and what I have been doing isn't working.  She was abused by my ex-husband when she was around 4 or 5 but has never admitted the full extent.  She refused to give statements or cooperate with the prosecution at all.  She was not his only victim so they were able to convict him and send him to prison for the other children.  As she got older, she began to stop trying to control her temper.  At 14, she was arrested for assaulting me, in front of a police officer trying to get her to go to school, and it took two officers to drag her out of the house and into the car.  Since then, I have tried to have her hospitalized to see if there is a chemical issue or something else, only to be told that she does not meet "insurance requirements" for residential treatment.  Last night, she told me she hated me and would rather be in jail than to live with me.  She also said she would rather be dead than to live with me.  I have tried regular counseling but it put my job at risk so that's not really an option.  I don't know what to do.  I only know that I am at the end of my rope.  I have seriously considered letting her have her way and putting her in a group foster home, but I don't want to give up my parental rights.  When I went to church, I didn't know if she would be there when I got home.  When she went to school this morning, all I have done all day is pray that she comes home.  But I can't go on like this much longer.