I saw my shrink today. It was a …
I saw my shrink today. It was a good session. We talked about the rape. I'm glad I have someone I can trust …
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I just feel as if I am hitting up against a brick wall. I feel bad about everything I do. I just want to be perfect. My father is so hard on me and it is just getting to me, I will never be good enough.
The last therapy session Patty wanted to talk about my trust issue. I have the hardest time trusting people, even people that I have known for a while. but thats not the point. She hit on a subject that was very uncomfortable and I got defensive and aggressive. I wanted to leave the session early. I can't express how I am feeling. I know I want to tell someone but.......I can't.
Does anyone have some helpful advice, or book suggestions, or anything??
Thanks
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I have so much that I want to write to you but I don't think there's enough room to write a book. LOL
You sound so much like me & plenty others, I'm sure. The one difference between us is that you're 17 & you pretty much know that there are things going on that shouldn't be. I didn't realize ANYTHING till I was older & had 3 kids already. DUH!!!
For most of my life I was told that I was stupid & can't do anything right. I figured I must be cause those you love & who supposedly love you, wouldn't lie, right? So, for most of my life I walked around feeling worthless. I was ashamed of myself & I didn't even know what for.
I, too, am a perfectionist yet very far from perfect. How can that be, I always asked myself. My therapist told me that it was b/c being I could never "measure up" with my Mom, I try to always do things perfectly to show that I was good & not stupid. The problem though is that NO ONE is perfect
& that's why I kept running into that damn wall. We
become very hard on ourselves. Our own worst enemy.
There are going to be a lot of issues brought up in therapy that are going to make you angry & hurt but that's the whole reason why it's brought up. You need to work on the issues that hurt & anger you so you can get past them. No... it's not easy. No one wants to feel that again but it does need to be done. One of the biggest things you have going for you is that you're still young. Please don't wait till you're in your 30/40's. It may be too late by then & your life will not get any better than it is now.
Well...we'll chat/message. I did say that I didn't want to write a book, right? LOL Pls hang in there, ok? Don't give up with therapy & if I can help in any way, let me know & I'll comma runnin. HUGS xoxoxox
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