nowheregirl's Journal

  Lately bad things have been happening, and I reacted without thinking and checking out facts.

I am very protective of my family, and my son, and when someone hurts them, I lash out.

  I guess that is what 2 people last night did too, when they responded to what I said about the young man that died in the car crash. They loved him. I don't blame them at all.

  Before the accident, finding out that my son's fiance had been seeing another man infuriated me, and I was hurt too, I cared about her. She was scared of the long wait alone with 2 kids, she was lonely, and depressed. I get that.

  But a " trusted" friend of my son's who was supposed to be looking out for her actually was infatuated with her, and wanted her himself. When she found this other guy, he dug up things, didn't know the real facts, and spread the rumors to me, and everyone else.

  I was worried about my granddaughter, so I reacted.

  My son checked out the real facts and found out the guy got accused of a bogus crime, was sent to prison for it, and would of suffered forever with that label. I of all people shouldn't of been so quick to judge. I know a couple guys that have dealt with this for years because of a malicious person accusing them wrongly of it to get back at them.

  I hurt this young man's family, and they are grieving enough. I never thought they would see what I wrote.

  My son told her he didn't blame Brad, because he wasn't told my son was still in her life.

  My son forgave her, understood she was having a hard time dealing with him being gone 4 years, and taking care of the kids alone.

  My son is not a bad person, he helped take care of and support her son from a past relationship. My son is in prison because he did wrong, he nor I deny that, or that he didn't ask for it. If he hadn't been arrested he could of been killed by someone he dealt with. It may have saved his life, or others. He is taking his punishment because he knows what he did had to stop, and yet he may not have if not caught. This is what drugs, or drinking do to people.

  I was a mama bear protecting my cubs, as this person who really ripped into me was doing. I wish I had never hurt her and whoever else.

  The girl involved was injured horribly, and I only want her better.

  I got slammed for saying I felt sorry for the young girl that caused the accident, and death. I do not mean I feel worse for her. I feel sad that at 19 this person was so out of control, and no one stopped her and got her help before she killed and hurt someone. She does deserve to serve time, as anyone in this situation would. I do feel empathy for her family if they didn't know she was drinking this much. If they did, they should of got her help. She will be serving time in prison, and time in her own head the rest of her life for what she did. Society condemns drinking, and then the state gives out more and more liquor licenses for more bars, and liquor sales, and they take the taxes for that. That is a crime too.

  I live in an area where there is NOTHING to do except go to the bar, or stay home. Mostly I choose to stay home. If only wherever this girl got her booze from would of taken her keys away that night.

  After I got the 2 nasty messages last night I had to drive for 70 miles with no radio to block my thoughts. I could only think of these 2 people that I hurt. I can never apologize enough for that.

  I never met the young man, and shouldn't of judged without knowing the facts personally. Even my son said he was sorry that he died. That takes alot after you have been cheated on.

  Her family went to the funeral, so he couldn't of been the person I was told he was.

  I reacted, without knowing the reality. A young man who lusted after this girl even though he was supposed to be my son's friend put all this in motion. He knows how profusely loyal I am to my son. My son is my best friend, and I don't let people do or say bad about him, so why wouldn't I expect these people to react the same??

  Twice I wrote to the one person who must be a loved one of the guy who got killed, but my son's baby messed with the computer as I was typing, and it was lost. I hope it went to her, but doubt it. I hope she reads this, and forgives me.

  This is a lesson, don't go by rumors, gossip, and words from people who are hurt or have other motives. Get the facts before you open your mouth.

  On here we vent whatever we want because we feel safe. We don't know who is reading it.

Don't hurt someone if you don't know everything for sure what you are saying.

  To LEAVEHIMALONE......I am sorry!!