MercysRogue's Journal

Today was a unique day, I wasn't angry at all.  That's something for the books, right there.  Not one thing pissed me off or led to hours of rumination about the defaults of the world around me.  I know what makes this day different from all others, I was active.  I wasn't necessarily do anything fun and exciting, just work at the office, errands around town, chores around the house but I was active.  I've been having a series of relatively good days mostly due to an increase in motivation and energy.  I haven't the faintest idea where this motivation has come from but I'll ride this train as long as I can.  The anger is the worst part. If I could somehow eliminate the anger factor, I think I would live a much healthier life.  The anger just sits on my heart and soul and resinates there.  It just sits there and sits there, sometimes remaining anger and sometimes turning into self pity.  I feel like I give and give in this world and get nothing in return.  My resources are used until my reservoir becomes empty and there are times that I am never replenished by those around me.  I don't know why I'm complaining like this now after having such a good day but it feels like the time to say it.  My mind feels clear which is luxury in the life of me.  I feel so cheated sometimes.  At the risk of sounding 5 years old, sometimes, it's just not fair.