tweetysd's Journal

I guess I'll update what;s been going on. I have been so selfish, I feel horrible. Papa wants to meet someone so he won't be lonely and I was against it, But you know, I think I have to let him be him. I talked to my friend, and she said something that hit home. If I want him to be happy, truly happy, I am going to have to trust him to do the right thing. So, I am giving up, and backing off. I guess if I want him to be happy I will back off and let him do what he wants.

 This is a big step for me, I am very protective, and my family means everything to me. But I do not want to stand in no one's way for happiness. Besides I won't be around long so I probably won't see it happen anyway.

 My heart is not good, I guess I'm going to have to have a transplant. Big thing to think about. I'm scared, and I probably won;t have it done, but I would rather die than live any longer. I have had a great life, Even though I was abused as a chid and most of my adult life was wiped out by drugs and trying to commit suicide. I didn't succeed, of course. And when I did die, tey brought me back. So I am ready to pass on and be with my mama.