carried's Journal

Two weeks under my belt.  I had a VERY trying weekend that I had not anticipated.  Basically, we had some family get-togethers, and my elderly aunt and irritating cousin came up to spend the night with me.  My aunt had been sick and I found out the night before that she had a bout with depression and was having difficulty.  She got up yesterday with a full-blown anxiety attack.  To make a long story short, I ended up having what amounted to a 6 hour family therapy session at my dining room table.  I know now why they say we shouldn't counsel family!  I knew this, but what do you do, when it's right there and she's begging for help.  This also involved my calling my two sisters and going to one's house.  We're going to ATTEMPT to get my aunt to AR (she lives in LA) in a place she can afford and can have more family around than my cousin, who has done a great job since my uncle died, I have to give her credit.  ANYWAY, I felt like a wrung-out wash cloth afterwards, and still feel pretty much that same way today.  The GOOD NEWS is: I did not smoke, did not have the desire to smoke, and I even drank coffee yesterday for the first time since my quit, and did not trigger a crave.  I have decided now to save it for a weekend treat rather than go back to a daily habit of it, because going without it for two weeks has helped me realize it does have some drawbacks.  It makes my muscles kind of  tense and harder for me to calm if I feel stressed.  Guess that's all for now.  Feeling very tired, but still very tickled.  Two weeks, 14 hours, 218 cig.s NOT smoked, saved $50.88, added 18 hours to my life.  YAY!