Here is some more material. THE …
Here is some more material. THE TRUTH IS DENIEDRemnants of the life I held in my eyesare hidden away within the …
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Monday, April 14, 2008 -- 8:30 PM -- Update
This will be one of my rare nighttime entries. It looks as though tomorrow will be a long and tiresome day for me. I have to get some physical therapy in the morning. I still have pain in my legs, knees, hip, and back, so until I see my orthopedic surgeon on Thursday, I will continue taking pain medicine and seeing my physical therapist.
When I got up this morning, the world seemed bright and sunny, and I felt as though I was starting a new and better life. As the day wore on, the earlier brightness became tarnished until my good mood took another one of those frequent nosedives.
The world does not look like such a good place to be tonight. I do not like myself, or the role I have in life. I feel as though I am slowly wasting away, waiting for the inevitable end of my life.
I have been seeing a psychologist recently. She is helping me work through the sexual abuse I received at different times in my life. This therapy is very intense, and I often feel the desire to put it to an end just as I would do to myself.
My mind keeps envisioning the demons of my past. I feel them surrounding me to the point where it is all that I can do to breathe.
I cannot help but think of all the vicious and perverted things that were done to me. The inner scars that will be with me forever ache almost continuously. I am filled with pain that will never go away. My life no longer seems worth living.
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I am very sorry about the abuse you suffered in your past.
I know how that feels.
With the sexual abuse, no matter how far you go forward, it is always right there behind you.
When you are actively working on these abuse issues, they can really mess with your mind and your emotions. Thoughts become easily distorted.
Self care, and positive self talk are imperative during this time.
I think of you are a good person and a nice man.
You were the first and only person I connected with the first time I found DS.
It was a very,very bad day for me.
You were kind, polite and helpful.
You were my first impression of DS.
Of all the sites I could have walked into, I found you. You helped me. You encouraged me.
You gave me hope.
You always come off as an educated, dignified, and cultered gentleman.
Your breed is almost extinct !!
You have no idea how important you are to the people around you.
It is not just the people on DS, for sure. If you are so courteous and helpful to us, we know you are interacting in the same fashion with the rest of the world.
I strongly disagree.
Your life IS worth living.
All the people whose lives you will touch are waiting for you in the future.
GoodGod
What GoodGod said! Weeble hugs and Mojo!
KweebsLS