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  • Image of PeanutD

    About Me

    Outgoing but strange,kind but a side that doesnt show to the world. I love to dance because i dont have to focus on one thing! I love to sing because its the most peaceful way to scream like you are inside sometimes. I love to write poetry and lyrics because its the only time your allowed to say how you feel ..without people knowing which lyrics and poems are truth or fiction. I get along with most people but the ones I dont Im still friendly to but stay away from..I hate confrentation.

  • Recent Activity

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  • Journal

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  • Hugbook

    Give PeanutD a hug

    • Hug

      From CaptainBuck August 20

      Still checking up on you :D

    • Hug

      From bayman June 29

      You've had a lot to deal with. How is it going? I believe in always getting help. If there is anything I can do pleaselet me know...

    • I’m With You

      From CaptainBuck June 13

    • Hug

      From CaptainBuck June 1

      Hey I'm gonna keep checking on you every day 'til you come on and change your sad face to a happy one. I really hope you're doin' OK. Take care!

    • Hug

      From CaptainBuck May 9

      Here's a hug for you, to let you know I care. Hang in there!

    Read Hugbook

  • Goals

    Progress

    5 %

    Current Weight (Lbs)
    185
    204 days smoke free. Last update Feb 16, 08
  • Support Groups

    • Close Physical & Emotional Abuse

      Treatments

      Music Somewhat Helpful
      Talking Not Working
      They dont understand.
      Music Somewhat Helpful
      I listen to relax..and it works a lot.
    • Close Depression
      Type: Clinical (Major) Depression

      Had an abortion in October of 2007..and even though I know deep down it was for the best..I would rather be with my child then alone on this earth any longer.

      Treatments

      Celexa Working / Worked
      Trazodone Working / Worked
      Writing Working / Worked
    • Open Miscarriage

      When I was 19 years old I miscarried and didnt even know I was pregnant until after.

    • Open Accidents

      Was in my parked car sitting at the beach. Pulled over because I felt to tired to drive. Moments after I had fallen asleep I was hit by a drunk driver and spun many times into a tree.

      Treatments

      Physical Therapy Working / Worked
      Long and exhausting, depressing and loss of motivation.
    • Open Sexually Transmitted Diseases - Female
      Type: Gonorrhea

      Got gonnorehea and Clamidia from an unknown partner but luckliy I get checked on a regular basis and got it cleaned right away...could end up with inferitlity.

      Treatments

      Acid treatments Working / Worked
    • Open Eating Disorders
      Type: Anorexia

      Been dealing with eating disorders since I was 16 years old..and still dealing with them. Life stresses have made it worse

    • Open Multiple Personalities

      Too many to tell i never remember them all.

    • Open Personality Disorders
      Type: Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

      My personality..tell me what mine is because it changes every minute.

    • Open Self-Injury

      After a long struggle with disorders and stress..to ease the pain I cut and take pills to kill the pain..it is still happening and I cannot stop it.

      Treatments

      Talking Not Working
    • Open Sexual Abuse

      Rapes..controlling men, and self destruction since age 16.

      Treatments

      Music Working / Worked
    • Open Anxiety

      Treatments

      Ativan Working / Worked
      It works a lot. Especially on those attacks when i feel like im having a heart attack...they are my lifesaver now.
      Breathing Exercises Working / Worked
      Deep breaths in a out close my eyes and calm down.
      Positive Thinking Not Working
      trying but find it hard.
      Trazodone Somewhat Helpful
      Helps me sleep at night but makes me drouzy in the morning if i take more than 1.
    • Open Panic Attacks

      Closed in, alone, pressured, crowds and no breathing space...many things trigger it.

      Treatments

      Ativan Working / Worked
      works wonderfully
      Positive Thinking Working / Worked
      trying
      Trazodone Working / Worked
      tired on it.
    • Open Sex / Pornography Addiction

      Since my rape at the age of 16, I became non-exsistent in myself and did not care who had me as long as i felt needed for short periods of time. Letting men use me for sex whenever they pleased including working as an escort at the age of 18..which gradually made my addiction worse.

    • Open HPV

      Went to the doctor when I saw one bump and he said it was just a zit. 1 month later I see more and go in again and the lady says I have genital warts. I cried and she tells me I am stuck with it forever.

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