kenzzx2's Journal

Logic - (n.)   The study of the principles of reasoning, especially of the structure of propositions as distinguished from their content and of method and validity in deductive reasoning.

What does that mean?  Logic is just how things should be, not necessarily how they are.  I am a very logical person, and I hate it.  Because I am a logical person, nothing makes sense to me.  That sounds very contradicting, but it is true.  I know how I should feel, should act, should be; but, I am nothing like that.  Logic is my enemy.  Because ot it, I don't understand emotions, feelings, or life in general.  Why?  Because none of the above runs on logic.  It is completely random.  And, I don't understand random.  I understand logic, how things are supposed to turn out. 

Take my fears for example.  I know that being afraid of the dark is completely insane.  I know that no one can break into my house and come get me.  I know that no bug could ever hurt me.  (Maybe a little sting, but no fly could kill me)  Does it matter that I know this?  Hah.  That's funny.  No, I still lie awake some nights freaked out because I think there's a murderer in my closet.  And, I don't even watch scary movies.  I had to get a grade lower and do a plastic bug collection because I have a phobia of bugs.  Even butterflies.  If it flies for crawls, I hate it.  (insects)  

I wish I could understand the random.  I would trade all of my logical thoughts to understand the random.  

Oh and a side note.  I like to be a loner.  And, I hate that I like to be a loner.  Any advice on how to stop liking being a loner?   

Random Song that I like:

Come on Get Higher by Matt Nathanson

I miss the sound of your voice
And I miss the rush of your skin
And I miss the still of the silence
As you breathe out and I breathe in

If I could walk on water
If I could tell you what's next
I'd make you believe
I'd make you forget

So come on, get higher, loosen my lips
Faith and desire and the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me in love
So come on, get higher, loosen my lips
Faith and desire and the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me in love

I miss the sound of your voice
The loudest thing in my head
And I ache to remember
All the violent, sweet
Perfect words that you said

If I could walk on water
If I could tell you what's next
I'd make you believe
I'd make you forget

So come on, get higher, loosen my lips
Faith and desire in the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me in love
So come on, get higher, loosen my lips
Faith and desire in the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me in love

I miss the pull of your heart
I could taste the sparks on your tongue
I see angels and devils
And God, when you come on
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on

Sing sha la la la
Sing sha la la la la

So come on, get higher, loosen my lips
Faith and desire and the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me in love
So come on, get higher, loosen my lips
Faith and desire and the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me, drown me in love

It's all wrong, it's all wrong
It's all wrong, it's so right
So come on, get higher
So come on and get higher
'Cause everything works, love
Everything works in your arms