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I've been doing good the last few days,haven't overeaten too much. I'm trying really hard to eat only when I'm hungry, but it's so difficult, I just want to eat all the time.
I'm on a binge cycle again. I want to be able to stop this! There's no reason for it, nothing is going wrong with my life, except that every day when my husband goes off to work, I get this insatiable urge to eat like crazy, and not just healthy foods, but really bad for me foods. I can't stop thinking about the food until I eat it. I go out of my way to go to the store and buy junk and devour it, then throw the wrappers out in the parking lot garbage so my husband won't discover me doing it. I'm making myself sick. I have to stop. It has to stop.
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God, I haven't written here in ages! I was doing pretty good about eating, but unfortunately over the holidays I went on a severe binge. I've been eating myself sllly.
So today was the last of all the junk left to eat. There are still 3 bon bons left, but if my hubby doesn't eat them tonight I'm throwing them in the garbage tomorrow (the garbageman comes tomorrow so'll they'll really be gone.
I've done all sorts of embarrassing things these last few weeks, sneaking around to buy brownies and pound cake, sneaking marshmallow fluff and melted chocolate, and fishing food out of the garbage after throwing it out (and even after pouring hot sauce on it -- I just skimmed it off and ate what was left.) I feel like a big and am ready to start eating healthfully.
I'm going to try meditation, eating mindfully, and eating the McDougall diet, which is a very-low fat vegan diet, with occasional mornings of the 80/10/10 low-fat fruitarian diet.
Essie