AngeGirl2007's Journal

 This was posted at the Rape Support Group. I know that I am not the only one, even here at the Miscarriage Group, to have survived something like this and after reading it I wanted to share it. I wish someone would have shared this with me when I was first going through but no matter. I can still pass it along. I hope it is a comfort and a blessing.

Dear Friend and Future Survivor,

You do not know me. You can't pick me out of a crowd, or see 'it' in my eyes, but we are connected. What we share binds us as we make our journey through this life.

Somewhere in this world is someone who thinks they have won. Or, gives little to no thought to the crime they committed. But you know. And I know. And they are wrong. We are not beaten, we have not lost!

At first there is wave upon wave of emotion that seems out of your control. Many times there is blame. Know it is NOT yours. Nor is there shame to be shared among us, that belongs to our attackers. Do not allow your mind to drift there. You were not at fault.

What binds us is not fault or fear. We are bound by living through the terror.

I have been where you are. I have lain where you lay. I have spent sleepless, terror-filled nights that drag into anxious, dread-laden days. But this will not be forever.

There are feelings you do not believe you will ever feel again, be patient - do not rush. You will know when the time is right to seek and enjoy those feelings.

It is easy to take the wrong path in your thoughts right now. Do not bring guilt, shame, bitterness, hopelesness, or fear on this journey; they belong to the offender Not you. There is no room for those thoughts, becasue we are on a journey to wholeness.

THE PATH IS ROUGH AND ROCKY SOMETIMES, AND MUCH IS UPHILL, BUT THEE ARE MANY ALONG THE PATH TO SHOW WHERE BEST TO STEP AND WHERE NOT TO STAY.

You are a person of worth. There is value in surviving. AND THERE IS JOY IN THRIVING AND REACHING BACK TO BRING OTHERS ALONG ON THIS JOURNEY.

There are many of us, too many.

Thereis an ability we share. Each in our own time, and in our own way. We have the ability and the NEED to trust. But trust is a learned behavior and can only be acheived by wise consideration. There is someone with whom you can entrust your story, and it needs to be told.

There is no magic pill or potion to make tis go away. And unfortunately, time does not "Heal all wounds". But time is a tool that allows us to access the recovery we need. Use the time wisely knowing you CAN feel real joy in your life again.

You may not recognize the moment it happens, but there is a day out there, a day you must seek. The day you become a survivor.

Love yourself. Trust yourself, and move forward.