prayersplease's Journal

Because today is Brooke's graduation day, I am adding this into Taylor's site because he would have wanted the world to know. Taylor was always very protective over his little sister Brooke, he adored her as she did him.

As I sit here in tears, thinking back on how excited and proud we were going to be about Taylor graduating, all I have now are questions about what really happened the day he drowned. None of the pieces fit and I can't get rid or the gnawing feeling that something is not right. Taylor didn't have to die, he shouldn't have been left in the still cool waters of the Blue Ridge Reservoir to die. There are no excuses for what happened to him. Taylor's death was unwarranted, and everybody knows it. I somehow can't help feeling that no one WANTED to help him. That he didn't die on accident, but rather at the unkind hands of someone with a devilish soul.

Poor Brooke, who has had to try to flourish and rise above Taylor's perfect record is so sad and so very much alone today because not one single friend has bothered to call her, hug her or tell her that they are proud of her and that they are thinking about her and her brother Taylor. How cruel and unfeeling must the kids of today's generation be that they refuse to acknowledge a friend's most difficult moment. That a parent wouldn't take 30 seconds out of their day to remind their child that perhaps, Brooke, who has always been there for everybody else, might possibly need a little support for once, because today of all days, is a huge reminder of everything she and her family has lost.

Thankfully, she has many loving aunts, uncles and cousins who show their love to her each day.

But being Brooke, ever the strong silent one when it comes to her true emotions, will instead, keep her head up and pretend that everything is fine and dandy, when in reality her heart is bleeding as much as her parent's. Can you imagine, going from a family where you have a sibling to being an only child? She not only lost her brother, but she lost the family her grew up in because the family dynamics have changed so much, that what she once knew as her family, no longer exists. It's been much harder for her than anyone realizes because she would never even THINK of troubling another person with her own grief. Like Taylor, Brooke has always been the kind of person to put others before self.

What people don't seem to get, is that just because time slides through the hourglass of life, the lives of the families left behind from the sudden death of a promising teen are held in suspension. We are all teetering between llife and death. Life because we want to live, but death because we so desperately want to rejoin our lost family member.

We smile even though our hearts are swelled with tears, no matter how happy and proud we are of our brave Brookie, there is the constant torment that she is ALONE in this - she is missing something - things are NOT okay for her today. She feels it very deeply that her brother is not there to join in the festivities and to tell her how proud he is of her.

So if you happen to fall upon this site today, please send out a prayer of strength for Brooke, because she is going to need it.

We miss you Taylor, Brooke needs you now more than ever.

www.TaylorBurgstahler.memory-of.com