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I just got a hower and i was standing infront of the mirror, just looking at myself.
i was just so disgusted by wat i saw. Im so ugly and fat and i just hate how i look.
I just want to delete myself and create a better image.
ALSO
last night i just felt so alo, as if i have no friends and that theres no one who understands me or how i feel, when i kno that there is lots of people on here who know how i feel because they've been through it themselves. I hav never felt this bad.
I tried slittin my wrists yesterday but i dont think my blade is sharp enough coz i had bled at all. I just wanted to bleed, just to prove i do exist, coz somtimes i just feel so empty. like im not sure i even exist.
Comments
I feel like a fraud.
everyones being so nice to me and i reali dont understand why!
im a horrible person n i dont deserve any one to be friends with me.
I always upset people, a girl used to cut herself because of me and im ugly and fat and worthless n useles and there isnt a point in me existing.
Everyone on this site has been nice to me from day 1 when all i deserve is a slap round the face and a kick up the bum!
I just dont understand why people r wasting their time on me when there are nicer, more needing people than me
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Everything you just described to yourself is false. You don't upset anyone. I doubt that girl cut because of you. You're far from ugly and you're definitely not fat. Don't be so hard on yourself. You're a very kind and caring girl. We're nice to you because we choose to be and you've never been mean to any of us. I know I'm not wasting my time being nice to you. The only way I could waste my time is if I'm talking to a brick wall. Actually, that sounds like fun. lol.
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hun you are wrong bout yourself...x
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ur so wrong about urself
ur like awsome. and ur not ugly or fat dont b so hard on urself i think ur an amazing person and so does evryone else.
(not directed at anyone)
When I see people's moods as horrible I ask wats wrong.
But people hardly ever answer properly. They say it dosnt matter which it obviously does or it wouldnt be upsetting them and it drives me mad. If its personal then say its personal, if they dont want to tell me, tell me you dont want to tell me or if you dont know whats wrong just say. but when people say it doesnt matter it drives me mad.
It does matter if its upsetting them! I'm asking because i care not because im beign nosey! I'm asking because im worried about that person!
I wouldnt ask if i didnt want to know, and f i thought you were wasting my time or just looking for attention or there isnt reali anything wrong i wouldnt bother talking to you.
FAIR ENOUGH is you dont know wha's wrong and you just feel bad. thats a reasonable answer coz i feel the same sometimes.
But if i didnt matter - wudnt upset you
So dont say it doesnt matter!
No one is gunna read this journal anyway, no one ever does so people are gunna keep saying it doesnt matter anyway but i had to let that out!
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Hi, sweetie i know with me i sometimes don't answer b/c its hard for me b/c i suck at spelling and i don't mean to but i confuse ppl when i say whats wrong and i get mad b/c i wasn't able to say it right but in my head i said it right(see i hope i didn't confuse you!). I think some ppl are not ready to tell everyone or even close family/friends how they feel b/c they dont want to be judge or ppl say o ur wanting attention.I understand what ur saying but like if i said to u i don't want to tell u i would personal feel rude to you and i wouldn't want to do that.But i maybe wrong b/c ppl think diffrently and act diffrently so its hard to put a solution on it and how are you doing?Yes, it drives me mad to but i just wait te'll the person is confetable with me to tell me. We'll i hope i help alittle bit with this topic(sry i stink at spelling).ttys Nikki
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Nikki, thanks for reading and commenting.
I understand what you are saying but if someone said i dont want to tell you i would understand or if someone said i cant explain - again i would understand. and your spelling was fine =)
True people think and act differently, and i understand that you have to trust a person to tell them but if they said i dont feel comfortable with telling you yet then fair enough
=)
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hi..i am one of those people...and m sorry...but most of the time...i just dont talk to people...i need to sort it out in my head b4 i thin of telling anyone...
xx
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ar you one of those people? wasnt reali thinkin of you wen i wrote this so its news to me
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lol ok
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Well that's part of what depression is: you're depressed and sad and hurting but you're also afraid of the things that might help you and make things better. You just gotta be patient with it, whether it's coming from you or someone else.
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Aw, don't be like that. You're not fat or ugly at all. You gotta think more positive about yourself. I know it's hard but it's worth it. As for slitting your wrists, please don't. If you want to feel alive, find other ways to do it. Go out and have fun, do stuff you enjoy. You don't need to cut to know you're alive. Next time you feel alone, come and find me. I'll do all I can to help you feel less alone. *hugs*
CloudStrife