Lesa's Journal

Dad

Tuesday, July 22, 2008 | A Rambling story

Dad saw his doctor again today.This time my younger brother went too.The doctor was very compassionate but also very honest.Dad's stomach problems are going to be checked out but may be another sign of his alzheimer's worsening.His cognitive tests were about the same as last time.The doctor said that there would be more bad days and that they would stretch into longer periods.There won't be any getting better.It will gradually worsen.

Dad told me how hard it is for him to know that there is no improving and trying to cope with the memory problems.He gets very frustrated on the bad days when he can't concentrate.He's seen how the disease slowly shuts a person down.I told him that looking too far down the road can be depressing and that it's better to take it a day at a time.Make the most of each one of them and try to concentrate on the things you can still do.I have problems trying to envision my future and get depressed just before treatments despite trying my best not to.I can't imagine knowing that my mind had me in the stranglehold that he's in.I guess that's why I struggle so with this...I can't imagine what he's dealing with.

Things get complicated with family members when the word estate is mentioned I've found.I really don't know who to listen to anymore.Greed leads people to do things you never thought they were capable of and say things you never thought you'd hear.I have one family member who thinks he's God's gift to mankind.I go out of my way trying to protect him while he punches and jabs at me.Why do I keep doing this?He's gloating over his deception and I'm wondering just why he's so bitter and ungrateful.Nothing that's happened in his life is his fault.His "misfortune" was the result of something someone else did.Just a little frustrated with him!

Hope is a happy dog!She flies through the house with her duck squeaking and wrecks the living room every single night.We're working on her pronunciation.LOL!She opens the door to her crate to go searching for things I've hidden under her blanket inside.She hates thuderstorms and delights in her reflection in the mirror.She now has an Elmo and a penguin that plays jingle bells.She keeps me sane.Well maybe!

The good thing about starting treatments late last week is that there will be fewer days in between this time.I'm hoping that means I'll be very strong.

Hug Lesa

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Comments

All the Mojo I have for you and your family.
Weebs xoxoxoxoxo

KweebsLS
My heart goes out to you & your dad.My good friend had Alz,& she benefitted from being in quiet places.Too much noise really made her nervous.She loved dancing,& would listen to music for hours.Yu have been waging a strong battle for your health,please don't let that ungrateful family member steal your joy & contentment.Better to distance yourself from him as he'll never change & you don't need the aggravation. I just can't believe how SMART your Hope is! Already learning to unlatch a door.What a smart little angel she is.Wish I could watch her tearing about w/her squeaky toys.Lots of laughter in your home,isn't there?!I am happy for you both :)HUgs Hugs

littlewing
Oh gosh I really hate to hear abbout your dad.
I have worked a lot with Alzeimers patients and it is a horific disease. He must live in constant fear and frustration.
Good to hear Hope is blooming into the wonderful dog she was meant to be.
Glad to hear she keeps you sane and you keep her loved!!
HUGS!!!

Wendylee
Hi Lesa, sorry things are getting more and more complicated for you and your family. My FIL has the big "A", but he doesn't think we know about it. Is really sad. Your new baby sounds so happy!! Wish I could get a new baby, but hubby says no. We already have two hounds and a cat,RATS!! Hang tough sweetie hugs sandy

sandym
SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR DAD BUT YOU ARE SO RIGHT LOOKING TO FAR DOWN THE ROAD CAN BE DEPRESSING! BIG HUGS LOVE DEBY

DebyDavis
So sorry about your dad. I need to go back and check my list of supplements, one of them is supposed to help Alz patients retain more brain function.
I think Hope will turn out to be a better service dog than Yeats would have been, because she is working out of a place of love and a shared life. Yeats was training to be a push button dog. Hope's love for you, and yours for her will teach her more about helping you than the sterile, high priced mehtods the service dog people use.
Love to you, your dad, and Hope.

LindaPoet
Sorry about your Dad Lesa.Your right in saying its better to just take life a day at a time.
I so understand about how greed can overtake ppl/family. I have seen it in my family as well.
Hope sounds fun and I know she brings you joy.......hugs

jannis
My heart goes out to you and your Dad (((Hugs)))
You are in my thoughts and in my prayers~Love,Maria

Love4you
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butterfly888
sending you love and my prayers.

rrowley
awwww lesa im sorry your being put in this position ,especialy with everything thats going on with your dad ,gese ,people can be sooooooooo selfish ,right??
I hope the person c ausing you the stress will back off ,and realise life is what you make it ,or dont as the case may be!(always one bad apple in the cart ,right?).
Just knew hope was going to fit in with you ,she recognises just what a great change you`ve given her ,i knew she`d respond by being the sweet loving dog she always was ,but never given the change to show before.
saying a prayer for you and your sweet dad ,i know how hard it was when my nan had altzeimers ,but your right ,one day at a time ,and keeping to a familiar routine ,will make all the difference.
Take care ,love and big hugs to you and little hope!!
Always here for you mb ,yb ,always ,sharon xoxoxox

Rocky7
Your Hope reminds me of our Bo. Russ brought the dog to bed with us earlier when I took my nap and he slept before going to work. Bo, the dog, hates storms. I swear it seems like he shakes when it is just raining. He was so funny the first couple times he picked up each toy out of the basket in the corner of the room. He had been here for weeks and not noticed them. One day, I see him going back and forth (on the other side of the sofa). He has done this with the blinds' cord while looking for the rabbits one who likes to sleep behind the sofa. It is like he thought the toys, or the cord was going to come running after him and attack him. So back to this day when he discovered the toys. After half an hour, he finally pulls a toy out of the basket and then he goes back in with all his courage to check out another toy. He gets this one out, and in he goes again to that combat zone to rescue another one. And Bo does this over and over, until there are so many on the floor and some have been lovingly placed in the comfort of the sofa. Then Bo pulls out the purple monkey (these are kids toys that I found very cheap one day), the monkey is rescued and placed in front of my recliner. He goes in to give it cpr, and it squeals loudly at him. Bo, runs out of the room, Cinn, our other dog, runs into the room. Then Bo comes back and they both look at the monkey but do not attempt cpr again. They decide to access the situation and announce that it is just to dangerous to proceed.

So we all watch both dogs move the animals (toys) around the room. They go up on the sofa, then down to the floor. They go up and down, from sofa to sofa, but they stay in the living room.

A few days later, I start swiffering the floow with a wet pad. I do the other rooms, pick up the toys in the living room, and then I rest. The next day, I start again (actually it was two days later), and I get the pad on the mop and walk into the living room, Bo, has pulled all the toys out of the basket in about 30 seconds.

I go ahead and clean the floor, just pushing the toys around, the floor, sometimes on top of the mop, and Bo keeps watch to make sure that I do not hurt his babies.

And the saga will continue the next time it is time to do the floor again.

pcoon
I am sorry about your dad. My mother has dementia and it is hard to have a conversation with her over the phone or in person. I am not sure that she realizes that some moments are more lucid than others.

Hugs to you.

pcoon
Sending prayers for your Dad. You as well enter my prayers very often as I know how helpless one feels if they can't fix things when someone they love is hurting.
He knows you love him Lesa, and that will do much to steady him on bad days.
Thats NO SMALL THING, try to be comforted by this.

carolmj
My love to dad, you and Hope.
Wish there was something I could do.
Things don't seem fair right now, but they will in time.
You're a wonderful daughter and dad knows that. That's his comfort now.
It should be yours too. You don't ever have to doubt yourself.
I wish Jim could find peace in his life, but unfortunately he's trying to find it in external places and he'll always end up coming out short. That's sad, really.
There's not a thing you can do to change him.
Just live your life the way you do and let him go. You don't have to be his victim.
He's his own.
I love you and I'm always pulling for you. I'm sending out big hugs for dad too.
He's a special person in my heart. Without him, there wouldn't be a you.
He did good.

socalmom61
I am hoping you will be very strong too! It is good to see the terrible face now changed to feeling OK face. Sounds like you may be spoiling Hope just a wee bit? LOL. Good for you... I would too. I will keep your Dad in my prayers... just keep reminding him to take one day at a time. Love and hugs, Debbie

LostStranger111
I am so happy Hope is being such a pleasure to you. We all need something in our lives to cheer us up. I have always thought dementia would be a terrible thing to deal with. Unfortunately I see it beginning in my two of three sisters left. It's early yet. One I think just has too much of a load. She is 74 & raising her 5 year old greatgrand daughter. And she is a pistol.
Regarding your treatments, I just wondered what the meds were & how often you have them. Right now Bill can't do anything. His kids want him to go to re-hab where he can get dialysis, cathed & his fusion until he gets some strenth back. The wife says he's not going anywhere. 50% of his worsening is due to her not wanting him in the hospital until he is in dreadfull states. But he goes along with her. So I don't know if Social Services will step in or not. They threatened to before. He has got so dependant on her just being there he won't go anywhere without her. He knows about the mistakes she's made so I don't know what will happen

Love to you & your Dad, Judy P.S. Hope Also

reader46
Mum has vascular dementia and like your dad, gets a bit frustrated. I'm an only child so 'estate' etc isn't an issue. The last thing you need really, is problems on that front. I'm glad Hope's proving a good stress reliever for you. I've always wanted a cat myself but it's a bit difficult. It's amazing the good company a pet can be though.

tattyhead184
My grandfather had alzheimers and it was very hard to see him decline. You are so right to get him to try to focus on getting through one day at a time. It is very overwhelming for them to try to look so far into the future.
Hope is just a wonderful blessing for you. She will be much more to you that just a service dog. I know that there is someone out there willing to step up to the plate to help you with training Hope. I am praying about that one. Is it ok with you if I write a couple of letters asking for a volunteer? If so, I will need your name and address. Will you pm it to me? Waiting to hear back from you about this.
Love Ya,
Rhonda

rrowley
I know this is hard. How could something like this not be. Still it is wonderful that your Dad has those around him that love him and will be there for him. When the doc's told Russ my White matter disease was progressive and I could lose my memory...He was so good to me. I told him I worried I would forget who he was... He said and this is something I really hold on to...That it doesn't mean He will forget who I am...That he will be the one to hold me. I am doing well and my meds seem to be helping. Still it is a frightening thing...That is why I write down stories so I can read them or he can and my life experiences won't be lost. Love to you and to Hope. I love hearing about her and her puppy ways. Huggles my dear friend.

bigouie
I've got you and your dad in my prayers. My MIL had A's disease and I know first hand, it is tough on everyone. Your dad with his frustration and especially knowing he can'[t remember things and people that he should. Oh Lesa, it gets very hard. Close confined meetings seemed to work the best. When I would go to the Assisted living, where she lived after the DX, she went through all the stages that people talk about and it never got easier. Loud talking or loud crowds got to her very easily, so we were careful not to expose her to too much of that. I made sure we showed her lot's of unconditional love and soft hugs, squeezes and tender kisses to show our love to her.

HOPE is just the perfect friend we all knew she would be! Hope was a gift from our Higher Power, as He knew that you needed a special friend and He sent you HOPE! I just feel this was a 'Holistic Experience'. And THAT'S THAT! Take care, Carol

Grease
Dogs are the best! They are always there for you and they never judge you. Stay strong Lesa. You and your dad are in my prayers.

Giver34
Lesa many prayers to your dad and you are so right greed is awful and makes many enemies butt you no Lesa you may be a little up set but its really the greedy that lose .Im do happy Hope is doing so good .Love ya my friend and always here when you need me God knows you have been there for me when no one else was

BossyMom
thank god for all the blessings we see and dont see, we will learn to live a better life, god bless you. hope dad will feel better my dear friendxxx

kate46
Again, my prayers for your dad and your family. So hard for everyone. I'm sorry. Huh, a commercial for www.alz.org just came on the TV...have you checked them out?

I'm so glad you have Hope there to keep you company and make you smile! :)

Many hugs!
~*~

I

Prairie
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butterfly888
i am so sorry hun, your dad is in my prayers

gramasbabies