I saw my folks on Saturday, and …
I saw my folks on Saturday, and arrived early to help my dad with his MGB. My dad arrived later than I did, and …
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I haven't written for a while because I've been feeling well. Hell, I've been feeling good with a dash of "great" on occasion. I've been trying to fill my time, and so far have managed well. A night of pool with the coworkers, going for a long drive, getting some shifts at my old theater job (A great way to not be bored on the weekend and actually make money...).
I'm not sure where to go from here though... I've been a very confused guy for the past 24 hours. Why? Because 24 hours ago Sarah asked me to take her back. We had gone to see a play with her family the night before last (they have not been made aware of our breakup and I went to keep up appearances... ...and well, to get to spend time with her.) and we had a really good time. Not like in the past where we've hung out and I've said "It was really nice," but it actually felt like were were keying off of each other in a positive way... So, she sent me a text last night saying "I want you back. We are good together and I've been an ass."
We talked some about it. I asked her why she treated me so poorly, and her response was that she always thought I could do better than her and subconsciously she decided to sabotage it.
It's tough... Last night when I told her that the idea concerned me (because from her track record I could expect to see a change of heart in about a week) she said that all she could do is ask me to give her another chance. She says she's been feeling a lot happier lately.
She said it's up to me where, when, how or if we get back together.
I think she knows that I can't answer quickly... She's a smart girl. She knows that she's treated me poorly and that I'm afraid it will be the same heartbreak all over again, and I am. Getting back together with her would be a big emotional risk.
I know that if I did my friends and family would be pissed at me. They know what kind of risk it would be too... I just don't know. I'm still crazy about her and the prospect of being back together again and having a NEW, HEALTHY relationship with her is incredibly enticing.
What kind of guarantee can I ask from her? I guess you can't give a guarantee of the heart... I just want to see something tangible that shows she's actually happier. Because if she's truly happier, and can work on staying that way, then I know she will treat me right. ...but if she's just saying it so I'll take her back... I dunno.
I want her back so badly. I miss her so much. Any words of wisdom?
I'm not sure where to go from here though... I've been a very confused guy for the past 24 hours. Why? Because 24 hours ago Sarah asked me to take her back. We had gone to see a play with her family the night before last (they have not been made aware of our breakup and I went to keep up appearances... ...and well, to get to spend time with her.) and we had a really good time. Not like in the past where we've hung out and I've said "It was really nice," but it actually felt like were were keying off of each other in a positive way... So, she sent me a text last night saying "I want you back. We are good together and I've been an ass."
We talked some about it. I asked her why she treated me so poorly, and her response was that she always thought I could do better than her and subconsciously she decided to sabotage it.
It's tough... Last night when I told her that the idea concerned me (because from her track record I could expect to see a change of heart in about a week) she said that all she could do is ask me to give her another chance. She says she's been feeling a lot happier lately.
She said it's up to me where, when, how or if we get back together.
I think she knows that I can't answer quickly... She's a smart girl. She knows that she's treated me poorly and that I'm afraid it will be the same heartbreak all over again, and I am. Getting back together with her would be a big emotional risk.
I know that if I did my friends and family would be pissed at me. They know what kind of risk it would be too... I just don't know. I'm still crazy about her and the prospect of being back together again and having a NEW, HEALTHY relationship with her is incredibly enticing.
What kind of guarantee can I ask from her? I guess you can't give a guarantee of the heart... I just want to see something tangible that shows she's actually happier. Because if she's truly happier, and can work on staying that way, then I know she will treat me right. ...but if she's just saying it so I'll take her back... I dunno.
I want her back so badly. I miss her so much. Any words of wisdom?
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Evan, personally I think you deserve better. You don't deserve to get put on this emotional roller coaster..you deserve to have a stable happy relationship..^_^ Bipolar disorder is characterized by massive mood swings, its up to you if you are able to handle it. More likely it will happen again and you deserve to be in a relationship where you are treated well. For your self-confidence and happyness, I would highly suggest that you don't go back to her. Feel free to e-mail me if you are going through a tough time or need to chat..
becky1919