I apologize for letting this entry lapse for four weeks. Let's just pretend I'm writing 30 days ago and it's April 8 instead of May 8...
Today (April 8) I am officially single. I was called before the judge at 9:00. My lawyer asked me his questions, I answered, and the judge made some comments for the official record. I was single at 9:05. Nineteen years of marriage, six and a half months since the separation, just five minutes to end it. I know the marriage really ended the day she walked out, but still.
I had arrived early and while I waited, I thought it would be fair to acknowledge some of the good times we'd had, like our honeymoon a zillion years ago and our most recent vacation. I remembered what it was like to hold her hand and take a walk with her. I wanted to feel that the time wasn't wasted, that we'd had good years together. We were best friends, but in the end, nothing more than best friends, with no more chemistry than that. Divorcing was the right thing for us to do, but she deserved some positive thoughts before the end, and I gave them to her.
Camera phones weren't allowed in the court building, so I went back to the car to call my ex. I said, "Congratulations, you are now single." We talked for almost an hour, about a variety of things. But we were both happy that it was over and that we could get on with our lives. This was about as painless as divorces get.
One thing that was a complete surprise was that I slept for 9 hours that night. I had been having lots of trouble sleeping and felt lots of anxiety, and I'd attributed it to a host of things. I had no idea the court appearance was so large a part of it!
April 3, 2008 8:53pm
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Well, work has kept me busy lots!! Not to mention my estranged husband trying to cause living hell to be in my life again!!! He let my tags lapse, which is getting him in trouble with not only the lawyers but the judge as well, my car insurance ...
March 27, 2008 8:54pm
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"The strife is o'er/ the battle done..." That's an Easter song but I'm applying it to our caregiving situation...this past Tuesday the divorce was finalized for our family's friend Anna. It is sad that things got so ...
November 30, 2007 1:34am
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My depression seems to be resurfacing for some reason. I'm very, very lonely right now...I'm not sure if it's because I miss my ex boyfriend, or if I'm just lonely in general. I would love to say it's because I'm just plain ...
I remember talking to you after you talked to her. I remember how different you sounded, and I remember being so excited that you slept that night. Now you are able to sleep with no medicine and I am so happy for you. You are a wonderful man and you deserve a happy, fresh new start.
tallulahbutterfly
Yes, I called you right after I hung up with her, and I think we talked for about two hours. Did I really sound that different? Was I aware of it? You're right, I sleep much better now. Bless you, Melissa! You have helped me so much!
Mike1905
Wow, sounds like a new beginning for you. And you have so much to live for now so take advantage of it. It's nice when both parties can leave on good terms. I wish you the best!
Cricket08
Kudos, to you. Cannot wait to be in the same boat...
Onwards
I'm so glad that your divorce is behind you. Mine wasn't nearly that fast (2.5 years). I remember thinking every day that the day would never come when I could say it was over. That was 20 months ago. I'm so happy for you and welcome to the group of divorce after long marriages. Take care and have a wonderful weekend....Joanna
jobari
Congratulations Mike! Mine is STILL ongoing - I feel like Jobari - will it ever be over? I find myself exhausted from the oddest things and am not surprised by your sleep change. I had company this weekend that I haven't seen in a long time - I adore them and was so sad when they left but had to take a nap! Stress expresses in the strangest ways!
Margo127