msde's Journal

i’ll never contact the stbx, but when the ink is dry on the divorce and I know there cant be any repercussions, I’m sending this letter to the stbxs brother.  You cant hurt the fucktard, hes as cold as ice, the only way to hurt him is to hurt someone he cares about.

I guess I don’t know if  I’ll really send it or not, but need to get this out of my system.  And this also will only be sent if I come out financially like I think I will.

TG,

I just wanted to drop you a note to say thank you. Thank you for showing the fucktard that the grass is greener on the other side. It certainly is for me if you consider green as in

Cash.  Guess your money train will come to a crashing end when he has to start paying me out the ass.

Thank you for letting the fucktard know that two words (you’ve never been referred to by either of these you may not know what they mean) Rachel will never use to describe him for the rest of her life that she uses daily for me – proud or respect.

Thank you for encouraging his cheating, it will be for me one day to find out what it means to be loved by someone that truly cares.  Doesn’t put work first (work another word you may not be familiar with), put his family first (another thing that you don’t know about), funny how he wants a relationship with his daughter and grandkids when

He didn’t before.

Thank you for taking the vcr that sadie used at my house. What character that showed after us giving you I cant even count the 1000s we gave you.

Thank you for not coming in and stoppping the fucktard from beating me that night at mardi gras.  Again showed your character. 

Thank you for introducing to him to Viagra. Since I’m assuming he couldn’t get it up with me, the little magic pill helped him out with the whore. Isn’t it sad he chose a whore over his family. More character huh.  Wondering if you’ll be able to afford the little pill if hes not funding you anymore.

Thank you for introducing him into the world of *making appts* with his daughter and grandchildren rather than just showing up if he wanted to. Oh that’s right he never did

That in the first place did he.

Thank you for introducing him into a world where his daughter has no desire to meet the supposedly most important person in his life – the whore.

Thank you making every Christmas to come a pleasant memory. That was a bonus.

Thank you for going out with him in a limo on new years rather than being with his daughter and grandchildren. Another memory I’m sure rach will consider precious.

i got early and went and picked up sadie and ella to bring over to spend several hours like i always do..at noon we went and  picked up rach to go to lunch..that was fun..after i dropped them off i ran home to get cleaned up to go the shrink..he was happy with how i'm doing and muddling thru..he ends every session with would you take him back..i always say yes and he laughs..but today he said it differently..today he said when he dumps her and he will, will you take him back..i said i dont know..i dont need to see him every week, we're cutting back to every 3 weeks and see how that goes..he said since the divorce could be final at the next court date in 30 days be prepared for this next 30 days to be hard very hard for me.

after the appt i went and picked sadie up to spend the night..we made pizza and had what we call a pizza picnic on the patio.. then the little girl from next door came over and i chased them around the yard with a the water hose..i sprayed them while they were on the swing and we sang *swingin in the rain*..just got sadie to bed and wanted to journal then play on ds for awhile..i think i'm going to give myself a 100% on the grown up goal, work on the getting thru the divorce of think of another one after that

i figure i journal on bad days, i guess i should on good days too.

today was like a good ole fashioned sunday..i slept til almost 10, then got up and watched some morning news shows, caught up a few things i've dvrd and ate lunch and took a nap. cleaned out my freezer...talked a little on here, played a little online poker, ate supper and watched some more tv..just pretty much a do nothin day..