rrowley's Journal

Hello everyone,

I have slept for most of Saturday and today. I am rested and in good spirit. I have a very busy day tomorrow and am asking for your prayers to help get me through it. I have such a peaceful feeling in my spirit about my mother. I am sad but so happy for her that she is in Jesus' loving arms and is joyful and FREE!

Yes, I feel a huge loss but at the same time I feel freedom for her spirit. God has given me such joy, knowing that she is free from all suffering, emotional and physical. Some of you may not understand this but when a loved one passes on I feel that is a moment to be celebrated for their spirit b/c it is experiencing a freedom from the bondages of this earthly world. The emotional pain that we feel is for ourselves and our loss and God has taught me that He will heal that as quickly as we will allow Him to do so. I was already being healed before He even took mom Home with Him b/c I had suffered with her so deeply. God has blessed me with peace and joy over her passing b/c I KNOW that she is Home with Him. I did not experience this when my grandmother passed over b/c my relationship with God was not as strong as it is now. I have learned that I must quickly lay all of my sorrows and struggles at God's feet immediately in order to receive that emotional healing which allows me to move ahead and not be held back by the past.

I have many fond memories to reminisce upon and that will be my focus in the days to come. God lovingly healed the emotional pain that I had from my childhood over the abuse I suffered from my mother. He gave me 2 months to spend with her as a loving mother that I never knew as a child. I know that this was a gift to me from God and it was to complete the healing of my spirit before she passed over to Him.  God gave me this wonderful gift so that I could move ahead and not wonder if there was anything I could have done differently. For the 1st time in my life, my mother expressed gratitude toward me for doing for her as I have always done.  Previously, she was never, ever appreciative for anything that I did for her and it was never enough.  God showed me that it was due to her own unhappiness in life and gave me the ability to love her through Him and continue to do for her as if she was grateful.  I have grown even more spiritually from this experience b/c it allowed me to put my own emotional pain aside and do as God asked of me. This was a blessing in that I was healed in my spirit by being able to do this.

 I know that there are many people that experienced abuse at the hand of one their parents.  If there are any of you reading this now, I encourage you to ask God to give you the ability to love them through Him. It is a truly healing experience and a blessing that you will cherish forever. To allow God to do this in your life is healing for both the abused and the abuser and it will free you to move ahead and to put the past into it's proper perspective.

 Love to you all,

Rhonda