abmnb's Journal

We have been broken up for a little over a month now the man I love and I. He was the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. We made plans together. We were best friends. I can honestly say that I have never loved someone as fully, unconditionally, or as patiently as I did him. And suddenly it was over and I am without any closure.
So today my friend told me that the reason she doesn't want to hang out with me is because she is hurt. Hurt that I only want to hang out with her lately to forget him. Hurt that I can only talk about him. Hurt that I am so sad all the time. She is tired of me being sad and not getting over it already.
I'm sorry but did I miss something? I thought when you were hurting, your friends were supposed to hold your hand and wipe your tears. Try to distract you from your sadness. Try to make you laugh for as long as it takes till you do. Listen to your heartbreaking story until they can recite it themselves. Then help you to pull out of your sadness and accept your loss.
I would never tell a hurting friend that her sadness was a burden to me or that I was tired of hearing it. I would never dream of inflicting more pain on someone who has clearly had their fair share recently.
Maybe I am the one who is confused about friendship. I am a strong successful woman. I do not need a man to make me feel whole or to give me an identity. But I am also a woman who has a broken heart. I am not sitting at home crying and eating my weight in ice cream like I want to do. Because I know that is not what is best for me. I am trying to get my friends to distract me and talk to me while I heal. I guess that is too much to ask. I guess I am a better friend than that.