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Well lets see, there's this boy.
And he's really sweet. He pretty much showed up out of nowhere about a week ago and decided he liked me. He's my one of my best friends' friends. Which is a good thing...
And i've been really excited about all this, you know, it seems like we've known each other foreeever. And yet, when all of the sudden he's hanging out with his friends and doesn't really want at the moment to hang with me i get worried. I mean I went out with one guy for a year and 2 months and around the one year mark everything got bad. :( It was an awful break up because we really thought we were gonna last. Anyway, I see the good things from my last boyfriend come up in this new guy and even though they are the good things, I still worry that it's a bad thing that they have traits in common. I'm just so afraid of getting hurt again. I don't think he understands it either. The longest relationship he's ever been in was 3 months. That's very short...
So yeah.
Then there's my weight. The only thing going on the right track in the world! ok so finally my doctor figures out something. I think I talked about this in my last journal entry. Short version, cydomel idk if that's the right spelling...is a hormone that apparently i need. I need it enough that it's constantly getting my weight healthier. Like i've said, i'm 5 5 and today when i weighed myself i was 125. which is the weight my doctor said he thought i'd look good at. hehe. This is great. I've been 145 before, mostly when i was depressed and went out 2 eat too much. but i've always been between 135 and 145 except when i got stomach flu and got down to 130. and i thought 130 was skinny. hm. that's the weird thing tho. I don't think i look any less curvy-er or skinnier. who knows. i guess i need to go clothes shopping...not that i have time because....
School starts on monday. AAAAAAH i really do hate school. i've said it before. but it's never been more real in my life. just thinking of it makes my body feel worse. Hello stress inducer! I have to do exams. gah. >_< i just wanna crawl in a hole in that regard. I'm already miserably failing in everything. That's what i get for taking hard classes. But somehow everyone around me including myself gets mad at me for failing them. hard classes. meh. AND to make things better, i have my IOP this coming week. Individual Oral Presentation. It must be at least 10 minutes long and not exceed 13. I have to completely unpack a poem, of my choice for the class, in a creative way? that's the confusing part. That, and I'm completely shy and never loud enough when doing presentations. :(
one more thing. FM ppl, what helps you get out of bed?
well i think that's all the problems i can think of right now. any suggestions?
