joanespring's Journal

It is Done. Mood

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

I opened my mail today and there it was: I am officially no longer married. I've been divorced a week and didn't know it. Just like that. 11 years comes down to a stranger in a courtroom I've never been in signing a piece of paper: "IT IS THEREFORE ORDERED by the court that the parties' marriage is hereby dissolved."

Dissolved:

* To cause to disappear or vanish; dispel.

* To cause to lose definition; blur; confuse

* To cause to break down emotionally or psychologically

Yes, Yes and Yes.

Dissolved:

* To shift shots in a motion-picture film or videotape by having

one shot fade out while the next appears behind it and grows

clearer as the first one dims.

Can this be done in life? Now that one "shot" has faded out will the next one grow clearer?

One can hope. Clarity is my dream now, my desire, my deepest need. Clarity of thought. Clarity of purpose.

I may be smart, but I don't know what love is.

Dis, the fictional city in The Divine Comedy that contains the lower circles of hell.

Dis Solved.

Hug joane...

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Comments

((((((((((((((Jo)))))))))))))))) Darling, sending love your way.. Kimmee

kimmeee
Love is ambiguous, undefinable, and elusive. But I will give you one definition of love and that is to care for someone and become selflessly dedicated. Unfortunately, some of us give, but don't have it returned. It's a mad game, and I for am tired of at this point.

I am sorry. Be strong as you always are. Think of the advice you give others and now let us be there for you. BIG, BIG HUGS.

Bert55
((hug))

VacuumBag
Even my most cynical, atheistic religion prof in school enjoyed the imagery in spiritual scriptures. That being said, 'let no man tear asunder' was a sustaining image for me. I felt torn asunder, and it was a long time healing up, from the loss of the identity more than the man, for me. Married identity in our culture is a big damn deal, which is not right. I hope your shift to the next shot suprises you, in many good ways.

trailblazer
Jo, I can tell you that it won't disappear, It is part of your life. But, don't dwell on it, learn from it. Live for today and tomorrow, you already know this. Even though the court says it is dissolved, it is still significant. Take what you have learned from this time and act on it. I am sad and happy for you at the same time, been there, done it. What a fresh future for you now. You will find love, no doubt. You will find clarity. Welcome to being officially single !! Scary, I know, you will be fine. Hugs for you dear !

gottherugpulled
Aw, sweetie...I know this hurts, as much as you prepared for it...everything, it's still a loss. It is a "closing of a chapter" so to speak and you are in the process of rewriting another....it might not feel like it so much today though....but YOU HAVE BEEN! Shit...I hail to "The Queen" today!!! ;-)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4lF...

joybean72
What a long, strange trip it's been.

joanespring
With every chapter that ends, a new one begins. Best wishes.

Strawberr1e5