DrJeremy's Journal

Journal Entry for February 24, 2008 Mood

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Hi everyone,

I just had one of those times last night that I wish I could bottle up and reopen whenever I feel the need...something I guess I might want to retreat to in about 10 years from now. But let me explain...for those who are unaware, I have 3 children, with my oldest nearing 7 years of age and getting closer to that dredded second decade of life. You see, I'm just not ready for my daughter to grow up and possibly not need or shall I say, want me around the way she does these days.

And last night was the perfect example...as last night we attended our first daughter-father dance at her school. The excitement brewed all day and was capped off as we held hands walking through the door and taking our "prom"-like picture. Her smile was from ear-to-ear, as was mine as we wondered through the gym looking for her friends. After finding them, I noticed every so often she would come back or turn to me just to make sure I was keeping an eye on her...which I certainly was. But this was something I did not see as much from the older girls at her school (and, in fact, I think many of the fathers of the 4th-5th graders actually spent a good deal outside in conversation).

I realize the inevitability of our little girls growing up...I'm just not ready for my little girl to do so.

Dr. J

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Comments

Oh I certainly agree. We have to treasure moments like these and put them in our permanent memory bank, for all too soon they grow up.

MawBear
Thats a bittersweet moment. But, being an adult woman, I can tell you that the one person in my life that I know will protect me, love me, and cherish me is my dad. I know that my husband loves me very much, but he cant come close to how it feels between a daddy and his little girl. Even if she's 28. You'll never lose her. YOu'll always be the only man in her life that she knows she can trust, no matter what. She will always need you.

sjr26
Trust me.....she will always be making sure your around looking out for her. Even as she's telling you....."Dad...don't talk"....as your driving her and her friends around. That one always made me get tickeld....the..."don't talk!" I'm so glad you had that moment and wonderful time with your 7 year old. I'm 45, I have a wonderful husband who adores me (at least he says he does!) as I do him.....but my dad still holds the key to my heart. I think thats how I found such a wonderful husband! So try not to worry to much.....you'll always be the #1 man in her life. Make sure you post the picture of you two!!

4meg
Oh She will always be Daddy's little girl even when she is a grown up woman. Girls always love their daddy's forever trust me big hugs to you-Stephanie

CoolGal
keep that as close to your heart as you can and break it open the first time yall get into the infamous "i need my own space" fight. she sounds like such a good kid!

toosoon
awwww they just grow up to quick...At least u take a great interest in your daughter. I know some fathers who don't. It will be something she always remembers, U being there for her. She will always remain a Daddy's girl no matter how big she gets.

needhope
Matt could certainly feel your pain. He has said to me that his heart will break the day Jordan doesn't want him around like she does now (every minute of the day). The day she says "Daddy... you can just drop me off here" he will be in a severe depression. They are growing up way too fast... and I'm sure you can see it on both sides. I look at Devon and I feel like I blinked and she became 9 months old (wasn't she just born?) and then look at my oldest, Jordan, and wonder when she got so tall and at what point did it become harder to curl her up in my lap!?!

cath
That is so sweet!!If more fathers took such an interest in their daughter as you do then this world would be a safer place for women today.Just remember that even when she is 30 she will always remember that she is a 'DADDY'S GIRL',I am and I am way past that.My father passed away 19 years ago and I still concider myself a 'daddy's girl'.

MOMMYMAMAW
Awww...that is so sweet! I can relate, but as a Mom! My DH feels the same way...and we both tear up when we hear those 'Wedding Songs' about Daughters on the radio.

My Dtr is only 3, will be 4 in June. I know they grow up, but I just want them to stay little a while longer...esp since I now have PTSD, and can't fully enjoy them.

I am trying my hardest to get through this, so I can get back to enjoying life again...It's just not fair.

My oldest, my son...turns 6 next week...Where has the time gone??

TLCDaisy
I understand completely, my son is 9 and I don't even want to think about him hitting puberty.

lisa81
well good luck!

marisa123
Teenagers are wonderful people. They are merely young people. You will always have luv from your children....and hugs. They are the same cute little kid only bigger. I luv my teens they can talk intelligently, share interests and it's so amazing to see them as they become interested in art or whatever their dreams are. How many adults have kept their dreams, alive?

mamaluv
I'm kind of on the other end of it, I'm 16 and an only child, and my parents are extremely protective of me. I know that they love me and that they only want the best for me, but at some point they are going to have to let go. Because the harder they hold on, not necessarily now, but in a few years time, the harder I'm going to rebel. Try not to be too hard on her, puberty's not much fun for anyone involved but just make sure she knows she can talk to you and that you love her, and that will make the world of difference!
Good Luck, Loui

Loui
I understand with having a daugher myself and her father not being around leaves me for that job. But as a girl myself I have a wonderful father that I want to watch over me all the time. I'm 30 and still call him Daddy. So your daughter will always want you.

amybr
I don't think we can ever be ready for our "babies" to grow up. Mine are 33 and 23 years old. Yes, I should have gotten over the fact that they grew up so fast, without my permission I might add! But they will always need you.

Both of my boys have happy independant lives but they always make time for Mom...they call me often and they even want to "hang out".

Where did all those years go? When did all this happen? It warms my heart to hear you talk so lovingly about your children. What is best is when your grown children say "I will always need you". It sure makes me feel better about them being my grown up babies now.

RuthMH
I understand where you're coming from.

I do have a couple words of advice that is different from everyone else, however.

I understand that you love you daughter dearly and never want her to "go away". However, be careful not to let that attachment turn into obsession.

My Father became completely overprotective and smothering starting at the age of 12 or 13. Now my dad is also sexist, racist, and abusive, which I'm assuming you're not with the way you're speaking of your daughter.

I'm just saying to be careful not to smother her when she needs her space. Knock at her bedroom door instead of bursting in, give her time alone to speak on the phone, and don't interrogate her guy friends or tell her she can't date anyone (because if you tell her she can't she'll be more apt to date anyways).

I just don't want people to go what I went through, because now I completely resent my Dad for it and I don't "need" him like everyone else is saying. I don't want him a part of my life or my child's (when I have one of my own someday) because of him being so smothering and overcontrolling and everything else.

Respect is the one word you always need to keep in mind. Even though she's your daughter, you should always give her the same amount of respect you would give a male coworker. My dad never learned that, and because of that he lost me.

On a positive note, it's very refreshing to hear about a Dad who seems to truly care for his daughter. If you're as innocent as your post sounds, she is extremely lucky to have a Dad like you.

InvertedBeauty
Just love your kids. As a mother of 3 adult children, 2 girls and 1 boy, love is the only thing that matters. Inverted Beauty had problems, as did I, but I knew my dads loved me no matter how smothering they seemed. Both of my dads. I have lost them both to cancer and miss them so much. My real dad died after I had my first child and never got a chance to be a grandpa. My stepdad died last year. He at least knew his grandkids and even got to be a great grandpa. There was tension, abuse and racism in my family too. I just tried to realize that the times have changed and the old "family values" did not have to be passed on to my kids.
And obviously they weren't. My family is now a mixture of white, black and hispanic. And the only thing that is important is the love that we give now. Just be a loving father and a good man and the rest is just gravy. Be happy and enjoy what you have while you have it and I bet your daughters will miss you as much as I miss my dads.

daggma
I am a 23 year woman and my father is still my hero. I am a lot more discreet when I turn back to make sure he's watching me, but I still do.

Have faith that you will always be important to your daughter. She'll just be become a little embarrased to show it.

beimprobable