Goal Completed on Feb 21, 08
ckn’s Profile
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About Me
I am retired, married & live in a rural Tn mountain county but was born & lived in CA for 51 years. I much prefer animals to humans, as they understand & do not condemn or criticize but would enjoy hearing from people who can understand being bipolar.
Interests
Animals, of course. My Yorkie, Cujo & Lhasa Doodle, Marley are my animal alter egos, I love them more than anything as they never criticize or condemn whatever mood I happen to be in...they just love me for me & never question why. I also enjoy crocheting, needlework, drawing (see one of my original pencil drawings in Photo section) & painting when manic yet neutral. My computer is my mental health aid that without, leaves me alone & forgotten in the world.
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We think having faith means being convinced God exists in the same way we are convinced a chair exists. People who cannot be completely convinced of God’s existence think faith is impossible for them. Not so. People who doubt can have great faith because faith is something you do, not something you think. In fact, the greater your doubt the more heroic your faith. It's just nice to know Hugs...Fred
I’m With You
thank you for your comment on my post "when to say goodbye." i knew long before that things weren't working on a therapeutic level way before her maternity leave. i think that leave is what was the straw the broke the camel's back. when she came back, she was the same person, but glowing because she had a baby. i just couldn't talk to her anymore. i am much happier with my new place, only problem i am scared because they want to get my medical records from her. it scares me so. how did you handle this? thanks!
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no problem Char...been thinking of you and completely understand. We all have our "quiet" times... thanks and good wishes for you as well. How are you feeling today?
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Hey girl yes we have central air here, an antique but it works. But I can turn it on though then you have to take cover off of furnace and turn on fan to get it to work blow. Have this issue with anger, the cover is hard to get off and bf has patience to wiggle and fart around with it till it comes off....I on the other hand do not touch it as when things don't work I tend to destroy it. I would just rip the damned thing off and say we don't need it!lol Warrior woman here destroys all in her path that is stubborn.LOL So yes have air but it doesn't work well till the fan is turned on on furnace. Rage is an ugly thing, good thing I only turn it on to inanimate objects!haha I am better though as now I just stay away from things I know will set me off.
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good to hear from you, and the news of the ongoing treatments of how it's taking a toll on you made me sad. Ya know, nothing wrong with soup and sammies, tv dinners or the frozen entree's for now till things are better! If I was a neighbor, I'd send you guys over some meals. It's wayy hot here too and only gonna get worse, BUT school is just around the corner for both kids and that is the only thing that is getting me through all of this. Things have not been all that bad this year, one cause they are older and two, back on meds...made all the diff! Got some sleepers and they don't work so I am very tired during the day, nap alot and when bed time comes I have no problems sleeping....feel like Rip Van Winkle...LOLOLOL!!! Hang in there...the end of the tunnel and the light is just around the corner. loving hugs to ya
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Goals
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Support Groups
Close Bipolar Disorder
Having dealt with anxiety depression from childhood, it was a relief to know I was bipolar. While I do have depression, my main problem is with anxiety. Unless I can control what I am doing, where I am etc. I feel totallly out of control. I have found, although married, I get better understanding & less criticizm from my dogs. Just wondering if anyone else has these same feelings.
Treatments
- Ativan Working / Worked
- Takes away the anxiety I have whenever not in control of a situation.
- Celexa Not Working
- Caused extreme stomach cramps
- Depakote Somewhat Helpful
- Had to quit as gained too much weight
- Prozac Working / Worked
- Worked but after 4 months felt like I had a great weight on my head and couldnt concentrate...i.e. had to read reread sentences still had problems understand what was written. Also caused fascination with dieing.
- Seroquel Working / Worked
- Works well when extremely anxious or panicky but at a lesser dose that prescribed.
- Wellbutrin Not Working
- Headaches
Close Back Pain
After many years of pain & dr's wanting to try this treatment & that treatment, I decided I would find 1 dr...recommended by my psychologist (am bipolar)..to see if could find what was wrong. After gen. practitioner, who has me as a hypochondriac, would not give me a referral, went myself. Guess what, had a vertebrae that had slipped 1/4 inch & was pressing on my spinal cord. Operation 10/26/07 & am slowly feeling better though still take pain meds. Hang in there!
Treatments
- Bedrest Somewhat Helpful
- Spent 1 year in bed which was a drag with 5 kids. Helped but not much
- Cortisone (Injection) Not Working
- Immediate pain & swelling at the injection site. Made pain much worse.
- Darvon Working / Worked
- To begin with until developed tolerance.
- Heat Working / Worked
- Hydrocodone Working / Worked
- Doesn't work as well as Tyelenol & Codine..full grain #4
- Ibuprofen Not Working
- Morphine Not Working
- Yeech..awful allergic reaction. Everytime someone pushed button on IV, immediate nausea & vomiting.
- Physical Therapy Somewhat Helpful
- OK, strengthened muscles.
- TENS Working / Worked
- Worked until I could tolerate the highest settings...then no relief
Open Pet Bereavement
It has been more than 2 years since I lost the last of my original Yorkies...all bred by me & I although I do have a "rescue" Yorkie who was literally thrown out of a van in front of our house, I still get upset thinking of Alf & Mimi. Alf lived a long life but Mimi, perhaps the best Yorkie I ever owned, haunts me. While preparing to go to work & on a trip my son gave me to see my granddaughter, I accidently folded up our hide-a-bed we slept on, crushing Mimi. I can't seem to get past this.
Open Head and Neck cancers
Type: OropharyngealYesterday I went to the GP's again for what I thought was a stubborn case of tonsillitis and was referred for an immediate ENT appt. GUESS WHAT, it's not tonsillitis, I have cancer in my tonsil area! They did a biopsy but when I asked the dr. what else it could be, he said he knew of nothing. So, I am still numb & trying to get my head around this so I can get on with things. Seems surgery & radiation are on the table now but will get a definitive answer next Wed. 5/14.
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