scaredindc's Journal

So me and that girl are no longer together…she developed a crush on my best friend who developed a crush on her and now I the bitch bc I say if they pursue they are both dead to me. I don’t give a shit anymore…I am now in the business of emotional walls no will ever know how I am really feeling ever again. For ten years I got by being fake without getting my heart broken and the minute I do let my guard down my heart gets broken twice fuck this u all can have love I chose me and loneliness…its easier not to be let down when you only depend on urself…I learned that the hard way…but now I know and know ever has to worry about by hurting me again bc I will never let anyone get that close again…ever not friends either. I am done with all kinds of relationships they just cause drama…fuck that…

I don’t have much time to write but I do realize that an update is needed… so where should I start…well first let me say my mom is doing a lot better the doctors are being very optimistic and I believe that all will work out for the best I will be home for a week visiting her around Christmas. As for the girl in my life we r  ok…I guess she is coming to visit soon and I am very excited about that. I just saw her but am looking forward to seeing her everyday. I am trying to be conscious bc the last time I fell for a girl all I got was two years of heartache…but she is just so sweet and so kind and honest…she tells me everything up front…she does not take my kindness for weakness…and she actually calls me to have conversations u know not just call and then get off the phone. I am little afraid that its to good to be true but I don’t want to speak anything into existence. Um work is great as usual…For now that is all I have to say…peace