Happy New Year To Me...
January 1, 2009 2:29am
I think this is the first time in my entire life that I've spent New Year's Eve alone. It's not the worst thing in the world but …
hopefulhart’s Profile
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About Me
It's been almost a yr on DS, guess it's time to update! I'm officially 'single' now - after a long, hellish struggle to understand & accept what was happening to me. My love of almost 7yrs broke up with me. Kicker is, we own a home together and he's still living with me and my daughter. That's a long story. I'm now 38, still a Prj Mgr for the phone co, still have MS - ha ha ha Got to have a sense of humor to survive - thank gawd I got mine back! I'm still a hopeful romantic and believe people are the most important part of life. Love is the ultimate gift we can give and receive but it sure can cut just as deeply as it can heal. Was divorced once - never wanted to experience that again and ended up doing so - only we weren't married and I wasn't the one who wanted out. Suppose that's the yin/yang of life. ? I still dream of finding my true love, best friend and life partner but I wonder if I'll be able to open up again. It was a tremendous battle within myself to open up to the guy who broke my heart - I imagine it would be an all out war with myself now. Or maybe not - I do believe anything is possible - it's just a matter of staying out of my own way! =)
Interests
Life, people, writing, movies, music, dancing, learning new things and mostly spending time with the people I love.
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Thursday
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hopefulhart wrote a journal entry: Happy New Year To Me... 2:29am
I think this is the first time in my entire life that I've spent New Year's Eve alone. It's…
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Journal
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Two Steps Back
December 5, 2008 4:30am
I hate when I feel like I've been going along and moving forward and getting better and stronger and hopeful again. Feeling like I'm on my …
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Love Stories Suck When You're Single!
November 22, 2008 3:22am
I'm doing so much better these days! I've spent so much of the last two years crying I think maybe I'd dried my tears up! But then I go …
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Away for a while...
November 21, 2008 2:40am
I've been away for quite a long time - but it's been productive time away. Things have gotten much better for me emotionally, mentally, …
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Doing Better
September 7, 2008 6:59pm
Wanted to update my 'mood' more than anything - I'm doing a lot better today and this weekend, actually. Most of last week was actually …
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I'm right there with you after reading your journal entry it brought back some awe full memories when I was in elementary and Jr high I was so lonely all my friends had bf but I never did I felt so rejected and would literally cry myself to sleep at night. But it molded me to be who I am today and it got me prepaRed for my 19 year marriage now I'm happilly married we love each other and he is my best friend. Just know that the bad times will pass just take all you can from the experience and learn from it. Well know I m here for you if you ever get too lonely ill talk and laugh with ya its not the spouse you are looking for but sometimes having that close friend make you smile or make you laugh by doing something just so dumb and it cracks you up when your feeling low. That's what helps in those lonely of lonely times. Praying for you. Have a good day hugs Carrie
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big hug!!!
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I feel the same way you do -- alone. It is so hard to trust anybody. I am here for you, if you need it.
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good morning
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Hope you are doing well!
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Support Groups
Close Breakups & Divorce
Don't know how to explain w/o going over the limit. My bf of almost 7yrs, whom I own home w/& have been deeply in love with, happier than ever before in my life started talking about ending things earlier this year, but says he still loves/cares for me. Still living together but he avoids being w/me so much I feel so lonely & hurt but I can't get myself to leave. I've never hurt this bad before & don't understand why I still love him so much. He's even avoiding me now at Christmas.
Treatments
- Forgiveness Somewhat Helpful
- does until the next thing that happens
- Love Not Working
- All my love doesn't matter to him.
- Reading Somewhat Helpful
- Support from Friends & Family Somewhat Helpful
- It helps for that moment and for a little while after.
- Support Groups Too Soon to Tell
- this is the first one.
- Talking Somewhat Helpful
- Wellbutrin Somewhat Helpful
- I can't imagine what I'd be like w/o it at this time.
Close Multiple Sclerosis (MS)
Type: Relapsing-remitting MSWas dx 7/03; but Dr. appx I've had since I was 23. I'm single mom,in 7yr relationship where my bf wants out but I'm still in love. Until most recently, was experience significatn probs w/fatigue, weakness, pains/pins-needles/electric shock like pulses, numbness, burning; spasticity, tremors. Some days, cld barely make it through, getting up to use bathrm was taxing. But within past month, have exp'd significant improvements all around. Like a mini miracle, I feel like 'me' again.
Treatments
- Avonex Not Working
- Took for 6 mos after dx, it was 6 months of hell, I exp'd 2 relapses while on and never felt more like a 'sick' person than when on the shots. I stopped for 2 wks to travel for work and felt like I'd woken up from a coma. Stopped the shots and have been free of any ABC's since.
- Baclofen Working / Worked
- Neurontin Not Working
- Didn't work at all, just made me tired. Stopped soon after starting.
- Provigil Somewhat Helpful
- Was helpful, until hit point where felt excessive fatigue/weekness and nothing helped. Since dropping a couple meds, I think they caused added fatigue - don't need to use this now.
- Wellbutrin Working / Worked
- I think its working Ive been on it for months now was on Prosac first and gained weight. Switched over to W and have had more energy and continued to feel less depressed even when faced with life changing events impending break up of 7yr relationship!
Open Single Parenting
I'm a mom to a beautiful 9yr old girl - her dad & I divorced 8 yrs ago and have split custody. Until recently, had been in a long term live in relationship for the past 7 yrs and am now dealing with that ending. Being a mom is awesome but sometimes with life's challenges it feels lonely & overwhelming. Still wouldn't trade it for anything! =)
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