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BECOMING SINGLE CAN KILL YOU AND THE PROCESS IS EXTREMELY HAZARDOUS TO YOUR HEALTH.
by Harlan Jacobsen (Copyright 1996)
The most stress you will have in your entire life will be during the coming apart divorce process, legal, financial, and emotional. The associated stress puts your body under extreme strain and often permanent damage is done, and the process can literally kill you.
YOUR CHANCES OF COMING DOWN WITH A MAJOR ILLNESS THE FIRST YEAR AFTER DIVORCE ARE 12 X AS GREAT AS NORMAL, ACCORDING TO DR. BENSON OF HARVARD
Your immune system that normally wards off illnesses is diminished in direct proportion to the amount of stress you are subject to. Any disease that comes down the pike that your body would normally ward off has a far better chance of taking hold. This happens in addition to the usual emotionally-induced illnesses that doctors say make up 80% of their patients.
You are going through an extreme emotionally trying period and emotionally induced illnesses such as headaches, high blood pressure, back aches, colitis, peptic ulcer, asthma, allergies, rheumatoid arthritis, and a long list of ailments you never believed were tied in with your emotional health, will run rampant.
A WIDOW’S CHANCE OF DYING THE FIRST YEAR AFTER HER LOSS IS DOUBLED, ACCORDING TO DR. BENSON
The loss of a major long term relationship whether by death, desertion or divorce is the most stressful thing that can happen to you. In addition, the loss of a spouse piles on many additional things that are in themselves extremely stressful. Examples are financial loss or change, change of living habits, change of social relationships and interactions with your support system of people in your life.
Losing your job is a major stress producer and if you were a housewife, you just lost your job on top of everything else. Changing locations (moving) is stressful and though this can often be avoided at this time, many add this to a long line of stressors. Husbands almost always have a change of location. These stressors all occur at one time and together can be overwhelming to your system.
RECENT RESEARCH INDICATES MOST CANCER PATIENTS HAD THE LOSS OF A MAJOR RELATIONSHIP (OR OTHER EXTREME STRESS) UP TO 18 MONTHS BEFORE THE FIRST DIAGNOSIS OF CANCER
The fact you are under extreme stress does not necessarily mean you are going to come down with cancer or some other illness; it means your chances are much greater when your immune system does not operate properly due to stress over a long period of time. You may have overcome cancer many times in the past. With your immune system diminished this time, you may not. The longer your body stays under stress, the greater the odds some bodily damage will be done and this damage may not show up for as long as two years later.
When the stress goes on and on, something breaks down. That something will vary from person to person. What may produce a heart attack for a person who has that as a weak point may manifest itself in another person as a thyroid condition under similar stress for a similar period.
IN 50% OF COUPLES GOING THROUGH A DIVORCE, ONE OR THE OTHER (OR BOTH) HAVE AN ACCIDENT OF SOME TYPE FROM THREE MONTHS BEFORE TO THREE MONTHS AFTER DIVORCE
Our surveys indicate that some have had 3 or 4 accidents during this period, while they had little or no previous accident record. Your odds of having an accident are greatly increased almost in direct proportion to how stressful and traumatic your divorce was.
JUST BECOMING SINGLE TAKES SEVEN YEARS OFF YOUR LIFE EXPECTANCY
Statistical studies indicate you will die sooner than your counterpart that stays married. The POW’s coming back from Vietnam, it has been estimated, have a life expectancy of something like 15 years less than normal because of their being under extreme stress for a long period of time.
Your loss of a relationship and your adjustment to single life puts you under extreme stress and how long that stress lasts depends on your actions in adjusting and recovering from your divorce, and how long it takes you to adjust happily to your new lifestyle. Staying under stress for a long period of time can not only ruin your health, it can age you prematurely.
IF THIS ALL SCARES THE HELL OUT OF YOU, THAT’S GOOD!
Maybe you will sit up and take notice and do something about it. Divorce does not have to be traumatic or stay traumatic. With the proper knowledge and understanding of the entire process, the sting and harm can be taken out of divorce. It does not need to take two years of emotional and physical stress to work through recovering from your divorce, it does not have to be so stressful and there is no need to flounder around when there are road maps and guides to help you find the freeway route to a new, happy, less stressful life.
RIGHT NOW, NOTHING IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN WORKING THRU THE EMOTIONAL TRAUMA OF YOUR DIVORCE. NOW.
Man-woman relationships, your job, your finances, your health, your children, your happiness, are all not as important because all of these things are dependent on your working through the pain of your divorce.
ONE MINUTE WE ARE TELLING YOU HOW GREAT YOUR DIVORCE IS -- THE NEXT MOMENT WE ARE TELLING YOU YOUR DIVORCE IS KILLING YOU...
And do you know, we are right both times. What happens to you and your new life now can be the greatest ever because of your divorce if you handle it right . . . or it can age you before your time, cut years off your life and yes, it can even kill you in short order. But . . . it doesn’t have to.
HOW YOU WORK THROUGH THE EMOTIONAL ADJUSTMENT AND HOW LONG IT TAKES MAKES THE DIFFERENCE
Everybody is looking for instant effortless everything, and we or no one else (we would be the first to send you there if someone could) can give you an instant painless way to get through this major life change.
The doctor who writes you a tranquillizer prescription (everything is "peachy Keen" pill, usually) is doing you a great disservice but is the only thing he knows. How else can he get you out of his office so he can get on with his next patient? He only knows 15- second cures, write a prescription for a magic bullet. We can assure you that no doctor has a divorce pill that works.
A good doctor may even take time to tell you, "You are going through a lot of stress and you need to take care of yourself."
REMEMBER -- DR. BENSON OF HARVARD SAYS YOUR CHANCES OF GETTING A MAJOR ILLNESS ARE 12 X AS GREAT AS NORMAL THE YEAR AFTER DIVORCE.
Why? Because of stress caused by major life changes. Anytime you have a change in your regular routine of life—that is stress. Having a lot of great new things happen in a short period of time can also be stressful. For example, let’s say you won a free trip to Hawaii for two. Mr. or Ms. Super is now dating you regularly and you plan to get married in the next thirty days and move to a big super new house in another city, where you are being transferred to a new super job. You are going to go through a lot of stress.
IT REALLY DOESN’T MATTER IF THE CHANGES ARE GREAT NEWS OR BAD NEWS— CHANGE IS STRESSFUL
You will probably have more personal change in the three months prior to and the nine months after your divorce than you have ever had or WILL EVER HAVE again, no matter how long you live.
SOME CHANGE BECAUSE OF YOUR DIVORCE WILL SEEM GREAT AND OTHERS REALLY DIFFICULT TO COPE WITH.
Yet both will add to your total stress. The trick is to adjust to the becoming single changes as quickly as possible, both the good and the bad. Short term stress itself doesn’t do you much harm. It is staying under stress for a long period of time that can really do you in, and that is what we are addressing here.
1. DIVORCE and the accompanying change (stress) will likely be the most major life changes you will ever have happen all at once in your entire life. This is your rainy day.
2. The support system of people that usually rally around you to support you normally in your periods of great change and pain suddenly desert you when divorce is mentioned.
3. You will have a period when life seems out of control, a feeling of helplessness and hopelessness.
IT IS IMPORTANT THAT YOU GET YOUR LIFE BACK UNDER CONTROL IMMEDIATELY
Staying under stress is like staying in a war zone battlefront where your life is constantly in danger, artillery and bombs falling around you. It is doing the same thing to your body; it is using up your stress reserve.
Dr. Hans Selye— the country’s leading authority on stress—says in effect that we all have only so much stress reserve. When we use it up, we succumb to anything that comes along, we age rapidly and die.
Source: http://www.divorcerecovery101.com/...
by Harlan Jacobsen (Copyright 1996)
The most stress you will have in your entire life will be during the coming apart divorce process, legal, financial, and emotional. The associated stress puts your body under extreme strain and often permanent damage is done, and the process can literally kill you.
YOUR CHANCES OF COMING DOWN WITH A MAJOR ILLNESS THE FIRST YEAR AFTER DIVORCE ARE 12 X AS GREAT AS NORMAL, ACCORDING TO DR. BENSON OF HARVARD
Your immune system that normally wards off illnesses is diminished in direct proportion to the amount of stress you are subject to. Any disease that comes down the pike that your body would normally ward off has a far better chance of taking hold. This happens in addition to the usual emotionally-induced illnesses that doctors say make up 80% of their patients.
You are going through an extreme emotionally trying period and emotionally induced illnesses such as headaches, high blood pressure, back aches, colitis, peptic ulcer, asthma, allergies, rheumatoid arthritis, and a long list of ailments you never believed were tied in with your emotional health, will run rampant.
A WIDOW’S CHANCE OF DYING THE FIRST YEAR AFTER HER LOSS IS DOUBLED, ACCORDING TO DR. BENSON
The loss of a major long term relationship whether by death, desertion or divorce is the most stressful thing that can happen to you. In addition, the loss of a spouse piles on many additional things that are in themselves extremely stressful. Examples are financial loss or change, change of living habits, change of social relationships and interactions with your support system of people in your life.
Losing your job is a major stress producer and if you were a housewife, you just lost your job on top of everything else. Changing locations (moving) is stressful and though this can often be avoided at this time, many add this to a long line of stressors. Husbands almost always have a change of location. These stressors all occur at one time and together can be overwhelming to your system.
RECENT RESEARCH INDICATES MOST CANCER PATIENTS HAD THE LOSS OF A MAJOR RELATIONSHIP (OR OTHER EXTREME STRESS) UP TO 18 MONTHS BEFORE THE FIRST DIAGNOSIS OF CANCER
The fact you are under extreme stress does not necessarily mean you are going to come down with cancer or some other illness; it means your chances are much greater when your immune system does not operate properly due to stress over a long period of time. You may have overcome cancer many times in the past. With your immune system diminished this time, you may not. The longer your body stays under stress, the greater the odds some bodily damage will be done and this damage may not show up for as long as two years later.
When the stress goes on and on, something breaks down. That something will vary from person to person. What may produce a heart attack for a person who has that as a weak point may manifest itself in another person as a thyroid condition under similar stress for a similar period.
IN 50% OF COUPLES GOING THROUGH A DIVORCE, ONE OR THE OTHER (OR BOTH) HAVE AN ACCIDENT OF SOME TYPE FROM THREE MONTHS BEFORE TO THREE MONTHS AFTER DIVORCE
Our surveys indicate that some have had 3 or 4 accidents during this period, while they had little or no previous accident record. Your odds of having an accident are greatly increased almost in direct proportion to how stressful and traumatic your divorce was.
JUST BECOMING SINGLE TAKES SEVEN YEARS OFF YOUR LIFE EXPECTANCY
Statistical studies indicate you will die sooner than your counterpart that stays married. The POW’s coming back from Vietnam, it has been estimated, have a life expectancy of something like 15 years less than normal because of their being under extreme stress for a long period of time.
Your loss of a relationship and your adjustment to single life puts you under extreme stress and how long that stress lasts depends on your actions in adjusting and recovering from your divorce, and how long it takes you to adjust happily to your new lifestyle. Staying under stress for a long period of time can not only ruin your health, it can age you prematurely.
IF THIS ALL SCARES THE HELL OUT OF YOU, THAT’S GOOD!
Maybe you will sit up and take notice and do something about it. Divorce does not have to be traumatic or stay traumatic. With the proper knowledge and understanding of the entire process, the sting and harm can be taken out of divorce. It does not need to take two years of emotional and physical stress to work through recovering from your divorce, it does not have to be so stressful and there is no need to flounder around when there are road maps and guides to help you find the freeway route to a new, happy, less stressful life.
RIGHT NOW, NOTHING IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN WORKING THRU THE EMOTIONAL TRAUMA OF YOUR DIVORCE. NOW.
Man-woman relationships, your job, your finances, your health, your children, your happiness, are all not as important because all of these things are dependent on your working through the pain of your divorce.
ONE MINUTE WE ARE TELLING YOU HOW GREAT YOUR DIVORCE IS -- THE NEXT MOMENT WE ARE TELLING YOU YOUR DIVORCE IS KILLING YOU...
And do you know, we are right both times. What happens to you and your new life now can be the greatest ever because of your divorce if you handle it right . . . or it can age you before your time, cut years off your life and yes, it can even kill you in short order. But . . . it doesn’t have to.
HOW YOU WORK THROUGH THE EMOTIONAL ADJUSTMENT AND HOW LONG IT TAKES MAKES THE DIFFERENCE
Everybody is looking for instant effortless everything, and we or no one else (we would be the first to send you there if someone could) can give you an instant painless way to get through this major life change.
The doctor who writes you a tranquillizer prescription (everything is "peachy Keen" pill, usually) is doing you a great disservice but is the only thing he knows. How else can he get you out of his office so he can get on with his next patient? He only knows 15- second cures, write a prescription for a magic bullet. We can assure you that no doctor has a divorce pill that works.
A good doctor may even take time to tell you, "You are going through a lot of stress and you need to take care of yourself."
REMEMBER -- DR. BENSON OF HARVARD SAYS YOUR CHANCES OF GETTING A MAJOR ILLNESS ARE 12 X AS GREAT AS NORMAL THE YEAR AFTER DIVORCE.
Why? Because of stress caused by major life changes. Anytime you have a change in your regular routine of life—that is stress. Having a lot of great new things happen in a short period of time can also be stressful. For example, let’s say you won a free trip to Hawaii for two. Mr. or Ms. Super is now dating you regularly and you plan to get married in the next thirty days and move to a big super new house in another city, where you are being transferred to a new super job. You are going to go through a lot of stress.
IT REALLY DOESN’T MATTER IF THE CHANGES ARE GREAT NEWS OR BAD NEWS— CHANGE IS STRESSFUL
You will probably have more personal change in the three months prior to and the nine months after your divorce than you have ever had or WILL EVER HAVE again, no matter how long you live.
SOME CHANGE BECAUSE OF YOUR DIVORCE WILL SEEM GREAT AND OTHERS REALLY DIFFICULT TO COPE WITH.
Yet both will add to your total stress. The trick is to adjust to the becoming single changes as quickly as possible, both the good and the bad. Short term stress itself doesn’t do you much harm. It is staying under stress for a long period of time that can really do you in, and that is what we are addressing here.
1. DIVORCE and the accompanying change (stress) will likely be the most major life changes you will ever have happen all at once in your entire life. This is your rainy day.
2. The support system of people that usually rally around you to support you normally in your periods of great change and pain suddenly desert you when divorce is mentioned.
3. You will have a period when life seems out of control, a feeling of helplessness and hopelessness.
IT IS IMPORTANT THAT YOU GET YOUR LIFE BACK UNDER CONTROL IMMEDIATELY
Staying under stress is like staying in a war zone battlefront where your life is constantly in danger, artillery and bombs falling around you. It is doing the same thing to your body; it is using up your stress reserve.
Dr. Hans Selye— the country’s leading authority on stress—says in effect that we all have only so much stress reserve. When we use it up, we succumb to anything that comes along, we age rapidly and die.
Source: http://www.divorcerecovery101.com/...
Comments
The Top 10 Secrets to Living Happily Ever After... Divorce
Category: Stages in Life, Major Changes, Teens, Retirement, Marriage, Divorce (BO73)
Originally Submitted on 12/11/2003.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When you go through a divorce, almost everything changes. Your daily routine, your social connections, your finances, your living arrangements, your time with your children, even your identity. You might be glad to just survive from one day to the next. But is it enough to stay in this survival mode? How do you turn the corner and begin to thrive?
Moving from surviving to thriving requires that you make changes at a much deeper level than moving to a new home or opening a new checking account. The "Top Ten Secrets to Living Happily Ever After... Divorce" can help you begin to make those deeper shifts in your being-ness. Learning how to live these Secrets on a consistent basis will give you the foundation for a joyful life, and the ability to move confidently from surviving to thriving!
(The term "divorce" applies to the ending of any long-term committed relationship such as a common-law or traditional marriage, or a same-sex union.)
1. SECRET #1: ACCEPT WHAT IS.
Are you spending a lot of – or ANY – time wishing things in your life were different? Do you keep focusing on how things "should" be? Stop struggling with what you think your life is supposed to be like. It is the way it is. When you stop fighting with reality, you can access more energy to take action and make the changes you want to make. When you are able to accept your life the way it exists in the moment, you are free to open up to the infinite possibilities of how your life CAN be.
2. SECRET #2: TAKE 100% RESPONSIBILITY FOR EVERY AREA OF YOUR LIFE.
Your life is your responsibility. You have no control over what happens to you, or what someone else does to you, but you do have control over how you respond. Taking 100% responsibility for your actions and responses is about staying in integrity. Staying stuck in blame or victim mentality closes you off from the rest of the world. Taking responsibility allows you the space to acknowledge your part in the divorce, learn from the experience, and move forward with more confidence.
3. SECRET #3: PRACTICE THE "2 STRATEGIES OF A SUCCESSFUL LIFE".
Strategy 1: Figure out what's not working in your life and stop doing it.
Strategy 2: Figure out what works better and start doing that instead!
This may sound a bit oversimplified, but developing both of these skills while you're adjusting to your divorce will help you move quickly toward a more effortless and joyful life.
4. SECRET #4: TAKE EXTREMELY GOOD CARE OF YOURSELF (AND YOUR CHILDREN).
When you put your own health and well-being first, you are available for growth and positive change. Your outlook is better, and you adjust to your divorce more quickly and effectively. You also have more energy reserves to help your children adapt, adjust and grow. And remember that your children have their own needs during and after your divorce, and those needs might not be in alignment with yours. Really listen to them and don't put them in the middle. If you're not feeling strong enough to help them, find a professional who can.
5. SECRET #5: CREATE A VISION & FOCUS ON IT.
If you don't know where you're going, how will you know when you get there? And since you get what you focus on, you may as well focus on what you want! Vision and focus go hand-in-hand. Define your vision: if everything in your life was just right after your divorce, what would it look like and feel like? Then create a plan to help you stay focused on what you want and to live your vision.
6. SECRET #6: TAKE SOME ACTION.
It's not enough to have a vision and a plan; you have to actually DO something with them. Decide what you can do today to take one step closer to living your vision. If the action you choose still feels too big or risky, break it down some more. Keep breaking it down until you have one thing you feel you can do. Then, no matter how small it seems, JUST DO SOMETHING!
7. SECRET #7: CREATE A FULFILLING SINGLE LIFE.
Being single is not a disease to be cured; it's a wonderful opportunity for growth. Living your life as a successful, fulfilled single after your divorce is the best way to attract the people and resources that can help you live your vision and fulfill your dreams. Focus on your own life and do what makes you feel strong and happy. Live your life on your terms, and say "NO" to everything that takes you away from your vision.
8. SECRET #8: MAKE CONSCIOUS LIFE CHOICES.
When you know who you are, what you want, and what you value, your choices are more conscious. If your actions are in alignment with your values, your decisions will take you toward your vision rather than away from it. When you make conscious life choices you reclaim your own power and nobody can take that away from you.
9. SECRET #9: EXPECT TO BE HUMAN.
It's easy to BE Human – a wonderful work in progress; but sometimes it's harder to actually ACCEPT that you're Human. It's a waste of time and energy to beat yourself up for not doing what you think you should be doing or for not being who you think you should be. You are who you are. (See Secret #1 above.) Be as gentle with yourself as you would be with your child or best friend. The joy of being Human is the ability to learn from your mistakes, to grow and evolve, and to make better choices tomorrow than you did today. When you expect to be something other than what you are, you set yourself up for disappointment and failure, and you give your power away. When you expect to be Human, you can see yourself with more loving eyes, and the possibilities for your life become endless!
10. SECRET #10: THERE IS NO "HAPPILY EVER AFTER"... THERE IS ONLY HAPPILY RIGHT NOW.
"Happily Ever After" -- riding off into the sunset, with no more worries or problems -- doesn't exist. It doesn't work to assume that you've "arrived" and that happiness can go on auto-pilot. Happiness is a moment-by-moment choice. It's a choice that comes from that deeper place of "being-ness" inside you. In there, your happiness is safe and protected from external forces. You can be happy no matter what's going on outside of you. When adjusting to a divorce, there WILL be ups and downs. How you respond to each one of them is your choice. Following the first nine Secrets will help you be successful at #10 – Living Happily Ever After... Right Now.
Source: http://topten.org/public/BO/BO73.html
Category: Stages in Life, Major Changes, Teens, Retirement, Marriage, Divorce (BO73)
Originally Submitted on 12/11/2003.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When you go through a divorce, almost everything changes. Your daily routine, your social connections, your finances, your living arrangements, your time with your children, even your identity. You might be glad to just survive from one day to the next. But is it enough to stay in this survival mode? How do you turn the corner and begin to thrive?
Moving from surviving to thriving requires that you make changes at a much deeper level than moving to a new home or opening a new checking account. The "Top Ten Secrets to Living Happily Ever After... Divorce" can help you begin to make those deeper shifts in your being-ness. Learning how to live these Secrets on a consistent basis will give you the foundation for a joyful life, and the ability to move confidently from surviving to thriving!
(The term "divorce" applies to the ending of any long-term committed relationship such as a common-law or traditional marriage, or a same-sex union.)
1. SECRET #1: ACCEPT WHAT IS.
Are you spending a lot of – or ANY – time wishing things in your life were different? Do you keep focusing on how things "should" be? Stop struggling with what you think your life is supposed to be like. It is the way it is. When you stop fighting with reality, you can access more energy to take action and make the changes you want to make. When you are able to accept your life the way it exists in the moment, you are free to open up to the infinite possibilities of how your life CAN be.
2. SECRET #2: TAKE 100% RESPONSIBILITY FOR EVERY AREA OF YOUR LIFE.
Your life is your responsibility. You have no control over what happens to you, or what someone else does to you, but you do have control over how you respond. Taking 100% responsibility for your actions and responses is about staying in integrity. Staying stuck in blame or victim mentality closes you off from the rest of the world. Taking responsibility allows you the space to acknowledge your part in the divorce, learn from the experience, and move forward with more confidence.
3. SECRET #3: PRACTICE THE "2 STRATEGIES OF A SUCCESSFUL LIFE".
Strategy 1: Figure out what's not working in your life and stop doing it.
Strategy 2: Figure out what works better and start doing that instead!
This may sound a bit oversimplified, but developing both of these skills while you're adjusting to your divorce will help you move quickly toward a more effortless and joyful life.
4. SECRET #4: TAKE EXTREMELY GOOD CARE OF YOURSELF (AND YOUR CHILDREN).
When you put your own health and well-being first, you are available for growth and positive change. Your outlook is better, and you adjust to your divorce more quickly and effectively. You also have more energy reserves to help your children adapt, adjust and grow. And remember that your children have their own needs during and after your divorce, and those needs might not be in alignment with yours. Really listen to them and don't put them in the middle. If you're not feeling strong enough to help them, find a professional who can.
5. SECRET #5: CREATE A VISION & FOCUS ON IT.
If you don't know where you're going, how will you know when you get there? And since you get what you focus on, you may as well focus on what you want! Vision and focus go hand-in-hand. Define your vision: if everything in your life was just right after your divorce, what would it look like and feel like? Then create a plan to help you stay focused on what you want and to live your vision.
6. SECRET #6: TAKE SOME ACTION.
It's not enough to have a vision and a plan; you have to actually DO something with them. Decide what you can do today to take one step closer to living your vision. If the action you choose still feels too big or risky, break it down some more. Keep breaking it down until you have one thing you feel you can do. Then, no matter how small it seems, JUST DO SOMETHING!
7. SECRET #7: CREATE A FULFILLING SINGLE LIFE.
Being single is not a disease to be cured; it's a wonderful opportunity for growth. Living your life as a successful, fulfilled single after your divorce is the best way to attract the people and resources that can help you live your vision and fulfill your dreams. Focus on your own life and do what makes you feel strong and happy. Live your life on your terms, and say "NO" to everything that takes you away from your vision.
8. SECRET #8: MAKE CONSCIOUS LIFE CHOICES.
When you know who you are, what you want, and what you value, your choices are more conscious. If your actions are in alignment with your values, your decisions will take you toward your vision rather than away from it. When you make conscious life choices you reclaim your own power and nobody can take that away from you.
9. SECRET #9: EXPECT TO BE HUMAN.
It's easy to BE Human – a wonderful work in progress; but sometimes it's harder to actually ACCEPT that you're Human. It's a waste of time and energy to beat yourself up for not doing what you think you should be doing or for not being who you think you should be. You are who you are. (See Secret #1 above.) Be as gentle with yourself as you would be with your child or best friend. The joy of being Human is the ability to learn from your mistakes, to grow and evolve, and to make better choices tomorrow than you did today. When you expect to be something other than what you are, you set yourself up for disappointment and failure, and you give your power away. When you expect to be Human, you can see yourself with more loving eyes, and the possibilities for your life become endless!
10. SECRET #10: THERE IS NO "HAPPILY EVER AFTER"... THERE IS ONLY HAPPILY RIGHT NOW.
"Happily Ever After" -- riding off into the sunset, with no more worries or problems -- doesn't exist. It doesn't work to assume that you've "arrived" and that happiness can go on auto-pilot. Happiness is a moment-by-moment choice. It's a choice that comes from that deeper place of "being-ness" inside you. In there, your happiness is safe and protected from external forces. You can be happy no matter what's going on outside of you. When adjusting to a divorce, there WILL be ups and downs. How you respond to each one of them is your choice. Following the first nine Secrets will help you be successful at #10 – Living Happily Ever After... Right Now.
Source: http://topten.org/public/BO/BO73.html
Comments
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Great informartion. Thanks so much. I printed it out for future contemplation. You're awesome!
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and then laugh some days, and cry others
Past Entries
Oh my friend. I LOVE it when you post this kind of stuff. I copied it and posted it to my journal for future reference. It just reaffirmed my hard work of going through this emotional jungle and getting healing and not staying in the drama of the pain. Thank you for sharing this. I appreciate it SO MUCH! Hugs, my friend.
caligirl67410