alright so she called me back finally …
alright so she called me back finally and just hearing her voice made me feel a little better. Even though she was in a …
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Well lets see today i had to go back to school and that was the worst experience in my lifetime. I had people pointing, looking, hugging, and even crying for me. The last thing that i want is to be acted like im helpless..I love that there are people out there caring for me, but i dont want to deal with things like this anymore. And the more i went on with the day the more that i had to deal with telling the story over and over again, even if it was the short verison...They kept asking questions, and wanting answers that i didnt know how to answer or what to say. I just wanted to be left alone by the end of the day. And to tell you the truth i wish that i could have just left and be left alone. I know at home im able to be alone and think about things. My parents dont bring naytning up unless its something i say. And then i start thinking and just need time to myself...Its really hard and i dont know how to deal with anything. I dont want to deal with anything anymore. I just want to be numb, and then when people tell me that they dont know what to say or that their sorry, i dont say anything except its alright. Its not alright, and i want it to be. I wanna start going to counseling but i dont know how to go about it. Please anyone if your going through it be kind and let me know how to do it. So i can get some kinda help...And then i want to have counseling on Chris and me but i dont think thats going to happen. I asked him if he would do it but he said no. I cant even get him to talk to me, so why would i even think of that one. I dont know anymore things are just starting to get hard...
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You don't have to answer to anyone, about anything, they have no idea how it feels. Hang in there sweety and we'll keep talking. I hope that I'm helping in some way. I'm always here for you. Love ya girl
LindsaySprague
I'm sure people were genuinely sorry for you but I also know it had to get overwhelming. You have so much you have to deal with right now and you are a strong person. I had a hard time going to the grocery store immediately after I lost Ryli becaause I didn't want to answer question. I can't imagine what you are going through having to go to school. I hope it will get easier for you. I'm here for you...
sleonard
Sounds like a rough day sweetie. Hang in there. Email me anytime you want or just keep writing in your journal, I will always read it. Counseling sounds like it might be a good idea. Being 16 you probably need parent permission, so if you have a good relationship with them, talk with them about it. If not, I would talk to your school counselor, she may know some answers. I know that isn't always easy to do. If you do go to counseling, Chris may see the differenc in you and want to start going as well. Who knows... Take care and know that I am here. Wish I could help you out more.
lvnikita