Journal Entry for August 30, 2008
August 30, 2008 10:09am
You have proven my point. Nobody reads my journal. So I'll stop. And hope that soon, I'll find the courage to kill …
Progress
85 %
word count (words)
61,250
InfinityLtd’s Profile
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About Me
There are so many things wrong with me and my life right now that I frequently wonder if any of this is worth it. I struggle in the morning to come up with a reason to get out of bed in the morning. If I seem quiet, it's because I'm scared to talk to people--I'm sure I'll be rejected in some way. I'm a 40-year-old virgin. I'm fat and ugly and have no prospects for altering that status, so I've pretty much given up on it--some days it really bothers me, some days it doesn't as much. I am a database programmer except for the past 2.5 years when I haven't been able to find a job. I occasionally write stories (horror or sci-fi usually, depends on the story that forms in my head).
Interests
Bowling, reading, writing, computers, science.
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Recent Activity
Saturday
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InfinityLtd wrote a journal entry: Journal Entry for August 30, 2008 10:09am
You have proven my point. Nobody reads my journal. So I'll stop. And hope that soon, I'll find…
August 22
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InfinityLtd wrote a journal entry: Every day 11:06pm
Every day I become more and more convinced that I should kill myself cuz waiting around for the universe…
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InfinityLtd wrote a journal entry: Grouchy 12:24am
So I'm in Publix (one of the local supermarkets) doing some shopping since Mom is still laid up.…
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InfinityLtd updated their status 12:23am
I am futility writ XXXL.…
August 17
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InfinityLtd gave babypoka a Hug 11:15am
You can bend my ear anytime. Bob knows I've bent yours a couple of times.…
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Journal
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Every day
August 22, 2008 11:06pm
Every day I become more and more convinced that I should kill myself cuz waiting around for the universe to do it just isn't working.
Maybe …
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Grouchy
August 22, 2008 12:24am
So I'm in Publix (one of the local supermarkets) doing some shopping since Mom is still laid up. I grabbed a cart and started wheeling it down …
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Consistency
August 5, 2008 11:40pm
Well, I find that the general track of my life continues even in my entertainment choices. I play a game of Press Your Luck via email and …
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Journal Entry for August 5, 2008
August 5, 2008 8:47am
My old friend insomnia came to visit me last night. I haven't seen him in a week or two. We stayed up and chatted until about five …
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Hugbook
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Hug
Thankyou Eric. You are the greatest. I really like you.
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Hug
Hey Eric thanks for the hug. I have missed talking to you. I really like you and I think you are a great guy. Lets keep writing. It is something I really want to do. Barb
Hug
Hi...well, I've had better days...lol...thanks anyway...let me know when ur free...check ur messages too...k?...later dear...have a good one...
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Hug
No dear..im here now...r u free???
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Hug
hey...u on?...trying 2 chat...
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Photos
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Goals
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Support Groups
Close Depression
Type: Clinical (Major) DepressionI'm a 40-year-old virgin. I'm fat and ugly and have no prospects for altering that status. I am a database programmer except for the past two years when I haven't been able to find a job. I occasionally write stories (horror or sci-fi usually, depends on the story that forms in my head).
Treatments
- Prozac Somewhat Helpful
- I was on this for about four years, three of those in conjunction with Wellbutrin. It seemed to help while I was on it (it didn't hurt, anyway). I haven't used it for probably three years now.
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- Did it for five years. Helped. Stopped. Couldn't afford it. I sense a pattern.
- Wellbutrin Somewhat Helpful
- Was on this with Prozac for three years. Weaned off of them when I moved and couldn't afford the drugs. Went back on Wellbutrin alone in February and stopped in November when I stopped all my medicines because of no money.
- Writing Somewhat Helpful
- I keep a blog at LiveJournal. I've stopped for now because I feel like I have nothing important to say, that nobody reads what I write, and I'm tired of sounding like a whining baby when I write about my problems. I did "win" NaNoWriMo last month, though, even though I still haven't finished the first draft of that novel.
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Snapshot
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