peachgirl90's Journal

I am soooo bored right now. I have one and a half hours to go til my work day is over. I may be extra fidgety today becasue I am super phsyced to be going to the ROM tonight with my sister and her two kids! I love the museum. Sooooo......I have been lurking around DS for most of the day to try and past the time and might as well update my journal.

Let's see....Well, I get my MRI results on Tuesday and I am a little anxious about that. I offered to come into work after my doctor appointment but my boss suggested I take the whole day off instead. When I think about it, she might have a point. Even if the MRI is not conclusive of MS I still have these symptoms and will then be stuck with a mystery illness and more tests and doctors. And if the MRI confirms MS my search will be over but the journey just beginning. It's a lose/lose situation anyway you look at it.

It doesn't help that I am a rather anal type of person who tends to worry. I don't like  surprises and I don't adapt to change all that well either. I am the type of person who makes a to do list every morning so that I can check off my accomplishments and I like to have at least a general idea of what the future holds. I don't ask for much do I! LOL

I mean, if this does turn out to be MS or some other chronic/progressive illness, certain arragements must be made. For instance, since this recent attack started just before Christmas I have been unable to clean up around the house or do the dishes due to the sheer exhaustiion I am experiencing. And I live on the 2nd floor and have not been able to take out the laundry or do grocery shopping, again in part due to the fatigue, but also because I simply don't have the strength to lift them anymore, especially up and down the stairs. So I may have to look for a new appartment, either one on ground level or one with an elevator.

 Then their is the question of work. Besides the extreme tiredness, most troublesome at work are my cognitive symptoms. I used to be a mega-multitasker. Now, tackling just one, simple task at a time overwhelms me. I don't want to have to leave my job, but what if I one day have to? Even cutting hours would be a hardship as I live paycheque to paycheque as it is.

 Then there are other financial issues to consider. I hear the meds for MS are expensive, I have no drug benefits and can barely afford my meds for Tourette's and depression, often I need loans from my parents. And how do I pay off my student loans? Blah Blah Blah...

This is how my mind has been racing. I know, wait until I hear what the doctor has to say, But like I said, I am a worrier. Can't help it. That's partially why I am looking so forward to the museum tonight, it will get my mind off of things. Then I made plans with friends Saturday and Sunday after work to distract myself and Monday I am meeting up with a friend I haven't seen in 6 months since see moved to Montreal. Then I just hafta figure out how to get to sleep Monday night...