pdsh's Journal

I've been going to an acupuncturist for the past four weeks and am beginning to see progress. It's slow, but my eczema doesn't itch as much and it is beginning to heal. The best part about going there is that he believes in me and knows he can help me. I didn't realize how much I have been wanting someone to say "I can help you." I almost cried in his office when he said that on the very first visit.

My doctor did say that I have some thick scarring that may not go away. I might have to look into laser procedures to remove them. It's expensive, but I am think in the long run it may be worth it. He reminded me of a time when I had great skin and I do miss having smooth, healthy skin.

My goal is to remain patient and do everything in my power to control my urge to itch. I know a lot of it has to do with being active. I've noticed I started to slip into depression so I have to counter act my urge to lay in bed and sulk about nothing in particular and sleep the day away. Organizing my room, doing laundry, maybe taking up a second job are all things that help.

My eczema seems to get better and worse.  I went to see a recommended dermatologist and was basically written off.  He said he couldn't help me if I don't stop scratching.  My immediate thought was that I KNOW that's the problem and I have desperately been searching for something to stop the itch.  That's all I really want... to stop itching. 

The dermatologist said my eczema is due to stress and I would be better off seeing a psychologist and in many ways would be better off smoking than using my skin as a means to take out my stress and anxiety.  What killed me and made me tear up in the office was him saying that I really put myself up a creek.  Needless to say I called my best friend afterwards and cried for about an hour.

I think in some ways it's good that he wrote me off and flat out said he couldn't help me.  It means that I have control over my eczema and that if I alleviate my stress and anxiety, my eczema will be alleviated as well.  I am going to see a psychologist hopefully within the next week or so and I am also going to take on Yoga, exercise more (i.e. hit the gym), and try an acupuncturist again in the area.  I think that my eczema is a sign that I need to address my anxiety and not suppress it.  I don't even realize I am anxious but I know that I feel unsettled. I need to find balance and calmness in my life.

So, even though I had a rough experience, I think it ultimately was a much needed slap in the face... though I don't think I'll go to him again.

I recently have been going through a drastic change in my life and found my eczema has come back with a vengence.  I still trying to get settled and I truly believe once that happens my eczema will become more tame. 

Right now I am not bleeding as much as I used to, but there are a lot of sores and they are more elevated than before.  It's almost as though with each new flare up my eczema takes a different form. 

I have to find a new dermatologist and hopefully work with him/her to regain control.  It's really frustrating to have gotten so close to having clear skin and now be back almost to stage one. 

I moved and so I have to "introduce" all these new people to my eczema.  It is like rubbing salt in the wound.  Even though no harm is meant, everyone who comments on my skin makes me that much more self-conscious.  I just want to be able to wear shorts and a t-shirt with confidence.  Instead, I plan my wardrobe around how well things will cover my eczema while not irritating it. 

On a positive, I am slowly getting to know people and I feel like I will receive a lot of support from everyone around me.  Spring hasn't officially begun yet so I still have time to reach my goal-- which I know is attainable.  It only took about 2 weeks for my skin to clear up so I just have to have more discipline to not scratch and to find a dermatologist who can provide resources that can help the symptoms. 

Positivity!!!