I ran into my sister in law yesturday …
I ran into my sister in law yesturday at the store. She asked me why, I didn't ask for the pj bottoms for Christmas …
Join Now
Well, its 2:30 and I'm here finally. Poor journal, you probably feel deserted.
Lets see what have I done today. I went to the store and answered messages. The messages were a really uplifting thing and put a smile on my face. The store wasn't so great. I ran into the choir director there. Now Elaine is a dear but she inadvertently made me feel bad because I wasn't in church this morning. the comment was meant "You don't get out much anymore." as in sympathy my for not getting to do the things i used to do. But it came across as a question about why I was at the store when I was too sick to go to church. Its not her fault she is reaching the age where occasionally things come out differently than she intended. I think it was more about my own guilty concience. But I really wouldn't have made it through church. I was shaky by the time we had picked the card out and almost had to go sit down while Colin was checking out because I felt like I was going to fall.
Realistically, i need to accept that i will not be going to church in Feb. I am sure God understands and to be honest my falls and fainting just detract from other people's ability to worship. God knows I am here and I know he is here with me so that makes my home a church. Besides I have actually been doing some great bible study in my spare time.
Symptoms today seem to be the same. I still look like the pillsbury dough boy in drag but I am not as plump as I was the other day. I see this as a good thing. The cyclic nature would lead on to believe that this is a flare related kidney issue vs something like kidney damage. Itching is better except for my feet and lower legs. They also still have that funny numb sensation but it is not as bad today. My legs are weak and it is hard to stand a long time. and the back ache is still there. Lots of jaw pain from the TMJ and I keep forgetting to write that down. I think it is related to the fibro but it is still worth noting. My side is hurting and I am having digestive troubles. i'm down to 10mg prednisone and the bowel movements are loose and very light in color. they are also running my life because there is no waiting to get around to having one. I feel like a 3 year old. "I have to go potty NOW!!!" A little dignity please. LOL On the bright side that awful headache has calmed down. The joint pain is an issue as is the muscle pain.
Back when I was a girl we played D&D. You know the old role playing game. We played so much that we came up with SOP... standard opperating proceedure... to save time doing routine things. When faced with a boring taske we would say I SOP the door and the DM would know what we meant. I feel like I need SOF... standard operating failures... to list off my symptoms. The pattern is pretty obvious at this point. Might go to "all the usual stuff" plus whatever is new if things don't vary soon.
I'll make the rest of the lasagna tonight and help James figure out what to pour with the candles. Might label and box a few if i feel super energetic. If not I will work on being really well read. I tried to do embroidery the other day but my fingers hurt too much to enjoy it. and with the headache it is hard to look at the cloth after a while.
Thats it for today other than I am feeling pretty upbeat.
Comments
You might also like ...
I'm having a horrible day today. …
I'm having a horrible day today. I received my results from my vocational testing and it says I am not a candidate …
Faith
I will be joining a new church today called Shadow Mountain. The Pastor's name is Dr David Jeremiah. I am very …
I thought it was very insightful of you to look past the choir director's statement. You're right, she had no malicious intent in the statement. If anything, the statement was made out of sincere concern for you and that she missed you.
Sometimes it can be a challenge to go to our places of worship because of our health situations. I had to leave early from my religious meeting today because my muscles were just killing me (self-inflicted pain from a brutal workout of the upper body yesterday). I think whatever exertion we put on ourselves, we pay for it more intensely than a normal, healthy person.
I admire your positive attitude when it comes to worship. Many people seem to give up on worship if they find they cannot go a place of worship, but you're right, God understands our circumstances and there's a scripture that tells us that God will strengthen us spiritually even though physically we're wasting away (2 Corinthians 4:16). I find comfort in that since God really is interested in us and will make a way for us to endure our adversities.
SCRRB
I have been a church goer all of my life. I come across people that ask me why I haven't been in church also. I believe that God knows the heart of man and he knows exactly where to meet you, even if it means in your own home in private. I love the Lord and he is everything to me. I can't do anything without him.
Well, on the other hand what does the statement ppl make sometimes when they say "I am my brothers keeper." I have a lot to learn.
Anyway, I hope that you are feeling a lot better. I can relate to going to church and feeling like crap. It isn't easy. So days I push myself to get out and get to church. I have a serious problem sometimes with the frequency of going to the BR. Mainly because of the prednisone. It makes your muscles week in more than just one area. The Dr's told me that one. Talk to you again soon, be blessed.
Snoozy
Been there on the bathroom issue. Its the main hang up really. Without the prednisone I don't go out unless I am wearing a diaper. In Mass there are times you are not supposed to get up and leave and inevitably that is when disaster strikes. At 40 I am both too young and too old for that kind of situation to be at all socially acceptable. :(
I try to assume the best of people and unless they say something increadibly stupid I try to think it is my mood more than what they said. Just think how many really dumb things I have said over the years and I still don't know about them. LOL As for the ones who say something bad on purpose. They must really be hurting inside to be so cruel and judgmental. God is the only one who has the right to judge and it is best left to him as the rest of us really have no idea what is going on in other people's lives. OK that sounds good but occasionally I want to kick them in the shins. ;)
KarateMom