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  • Image of Steveypoos

    About Me

    Oh dear. I suppose I could describe myself as the perfect lesson for a child if you wanted to teach them how NOT to turn out when they grow up. I'm not a bad person, as such. In fact I like to think I am quite a kind human being (or was). I just happen to be devoid of personality and experience in...well, anything. Ever since I was a child I just.....existed. I ate, breathed like any other human being, but I didn't live. I never DID anything. Ever! So I came here to try and find one like-minded person, so as not to feel completely alienated. Unfortunately, as yet, I haven't stumbled upon someone like me. There are some similarities with others, however. An actual phobia of people. Who'd have thunk it.

    Interests

    I care deeply about the world and it's inhabitants. In particularly the sections of society that I feel are being exploited in some way. I hate bullying of all kinds. So politics, current events (globally more than locally for some reason), ethics and psychology interest me. I enjoy reading and music. I am predictably, as my condition would point to, an avid follower of Keane. I never get to see them, because that would require leaving the house. Come to think of it, leaving the house would require leaving my bedroom. Come to think of it leaving my bedroom would require leaving my bed. It's that bad! I'd like to start a journal, but have no idea how to get started. So if someone else has one I would like to see it please. Give me an idea. Providing anyone reads this profile. I'm digressing from the interests section. erm....keeping fit would be considered an interest. I was 21st 2 years ago. Today I weigh in at 12.2st.

  • Recent Activity

    Yesterday

  • Journal

    • This entry is private

    • This entry is private

    • This entry is private

    • Sorry.

      Mood July 2, 2008 11:13am

      I was barely sober that last weekend. In fact this morning was the first day I WAS sober, since Friday. I rarely drink so this was totally out of …

    • Arses.

      Mood June 28, 2008 7:22pm

      Carrot cake. The devil made me do it.

       

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      . o(

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    Read Journal

  • Hugbook

    Give Steveypoos a hug

    • Hug

      From blondelexus Yesterday

      just a hug to say hello and i am thinking of you... i am so glad you are better.. this makes me smile... xxxxx

    • Hug

      From meandthebeast Yesterday

      I think I will change mine to yellow my friend.. I love you.. you make me laugh..

    • Hug

      From happychick Yesterday

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZBZ...

    • Hug

      From susy Yesterday

      Hiya love,when's yours then? x

    • Hug

      From AFC08 Yesterday

      i havent got kids and more than likely wont be able to have them hun....thank u ur a great friend too xx

    Read Hugbook

  • Goals

    Goal Completed on Aug 18, 08
  • Support Groups

    • Close Depression
      Type: Clinical (Major) Depression

      I would imagine wanting to take my life every day would constitute being clinically depressed. I feel a journal entry would be more suitable in it's description.

      Treatments

      Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Not Working
      It may have had an effect had I been honest with my therapist. Instead I lied about my feelings, having regressed from earlier progression. I have failed at most things in life, so the feelings of failure led to these lies. It also felt good to lie and fabricate examples of improvement in the short term.
      Paxil Somewhat Helpful
      This was a revelation during the early stages. I had only known misery and self-loathing for years previously. The chemical injection in my brain these tablets provided reminded me of the movie Awakenings. It helped transform my mindset for a time. Though my problems were still prevalent I felt it was possible to tackle them, slowly but surely. I think I just WAITED. Waited for the tablets to cure me with no effort from myself. My body has since grown immune to the effects and I changed meds.
      Psychotherapy Too Soon to Tell
      This is what I am going through currently. It may lead to group therapy. It is still early days, so I will not take notice of any false dawns that may arise.
      Writing Too Soon to Tell
      I have blogged in the past and it helped. I will try again here, as it may be of use to someone out there somewhere if, God forbid, they should have similar difficulties.
  • Friends

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