this morning
July 27, 2008 1:01pm
i've been up for about 45 minutes though I laid in bed for a good majority of that time.my heart's hammerring in my chest , i can feel it in …
Progress
25 %
RageOfAngels’s Profile
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RageOfAngels
is feeling OK
needs as much love and support as she can get.
About Me
I've been battling with depression for the majority of my life. I grew up in an abusive household where my father was an addict and alcoholic and mom was too scared to protect us from him. I took over the family at the age of 16 being the mommy to my then 12 year old brother and 7 year old sister when mom became suicidal and then very self-absorbed.I left when I was 18 only to go from one mess to another. I've been married to a man for the last 9 and a half years who treats me like I'm worthless.I'm losing my eyesight which is hard enough to deal with let alone having to deal with him teasing and belittling me for it. I'm in the process of filing for divorce and trying to learn how to be in a 'normal' relationship but feel I'm failing miserably.I've got major trust issues and on most days feel like I'm losing my mind
Interests
Horror movies, writing horror and adult oriented fiction, sleep, a good cup of coffee, Fridays on Fridays, reading.
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Recent Activity
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Journal
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I want to rip my skin off
July 26, 2008 3:48pm
I'm not feeling well at all today. infact really dark thoughts keeping creeping in, not of suicide or anything of that nature just thoughts about …
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bleh and a half
July 26, 2008 3:46pm
So i was admitted into the emergency room this past Wednesday morning at 12ish. I had spent and amazing day with someone very dear to me, we went to …
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not untypical but I feel like screaming
July 18, 2008 3:08pm
turns out the laptop he bought for himself wasn't 500.00 it was 1,500 why does he get to have a 1,500 laptop? and then is now logged onto …
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anxiety overload
July 18, 2008 3:07pm
I woke this morning to loud banging on my front door. At first i ignored it, rolled over on the couch and tried to go back to sleep. But it …
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Photos
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Support Groups
Close Depression
Type: Clinical (Major) DepressionWasting away in a marriage i don't want to be in. Finding it difficult to get out due to major hurdles. I'm 28 losing my eyesight to Stargardt's disease(early onset of macular degeneration) I'll never be able to drive, no family in CA and the spouse likes to remind me on a regular basis how much i burden him.
Treatments
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- I love my therapist. Maybe it might sound unprofessional, but she's one of my best friends,. She knows everything about me. and I trust her to the ends of the earth. I actually wish we could hang out outside of therapy.
- Writing Working / Worked
- I've become a new blogger, I find it freeing to let everything out.
- Zoloft Somewhat Helpful
- I've been on it now for several months and i find that it helps. When i remember to take it consistently.
Close Healthy Sex
Mother caught me masturbating at the age of 16 grounded me for months. First time having sex was not consentual with a man twice my age. married too young.. having lots of issues to contend with
Treatments
- Patience Not Working
Open Blindness & Visual Impairment
Type: Legally BlindBack in 2000 I was diagnosed with Stargardt's disease. I was told then within 3-5 years i would be completely blind. Now by what ever grace I still have some sight. I'm at 20/200 corrected. It's been a struggle . It's been a factor in my depression. But i know it's not a death sentence. I have good days and bad days trying to cope.
Open Healthy Relationships
I really want to know how to be in a healthy relationship. I'm filing for divorce and in a relationship now that i really want to work.
Treatments
- Couples Counseling Not Working
- i had gone but he never wanted to
- Patience Not Working
- Talking Working / Worked
- i talked he walks away
- Writing Working / Worked
- i role-playing and have been working on a story for two years. maybe one day ill finish it.
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Groups
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Snapshot
RageOfAngels hasn’t been active on the site in a while. Why not give RageOfAngels a hug?
