linlin's Journal

Hi mom,

Well I am up and writing at my makeshift table/desk in the breakfast area. I like it here. Here is where I study as well. So pretty. So quiet.

Jack is asleep. He tends to complain on Friday eve and into Saturday how tired he is. Sometimes he just stays in bed all day on Saturday. I used to be concerned, but now I have learned to give him this time to rest. He must need it.

School starts back again next week. I am a little scared... nothing like the excitement I felt when I entered the curriculum last term. Boy, that was a big let-down. But, through your urging and the support of my friends here, I have picked myself up, brushed off my knees, and will be in class next week with bells on my heels and a twinkle in my eye. WE can do this! Jack was helpful too. He smiled while telling me how many classes he had to drop before he finally received his degree. He even went to a different college to take calculus, then had the credit transfered, because his professors at U of P kept 'theorizing' instead of teaching. He said he went down the street to Temple U -- and the teacher came into class with apples and oranges to help illustrate her lessons. Jack learned calculus that term. 

Let's hope it was just the teacher last term, and that I have not become an idiot!

I am thinking about signing up to compete in the taekwondo tournament this month. I don't think I am ready, but I think I will be glad if I compete. Besides, there is something about setting goals and working towards them that makes me happy. I don't want to bite off too much though. You know Wayne is always accusing me of that. On that subject, Jack has asked me to apply for a position at his friend's medical practice. A patient came in who works there and told Jack that they were hiring there. I feel torn. I need to be careful here. It would be a good opportunity to get my foot in the door there. I'm sure I would learn a lot about how to run a medical office. As Jack's office is sorely behind the times, I might eventually be able to advise him (if he'll let me). But I don't want to accept a position that would conflict with my goal of finishing school. That is what happened to me before. I let ambition at my former job take the bulk of my energy... until ther was no room for night school. I want to finally get this degree. I know (and Jack should too) that an MBA will only make me more marketable in the long run. I don't know if Jack's friend's proctice will have what I am looking for. I am really looking for something local... maybe part-time... not too difficult. I don't want to be super-challenged all day at work, then struggling to keep up with my studies at night. I know a lot of folks do the 9-5 + school thing. Jack's sister did it and just received her degree. But I really would like to keep my 4.0 GPA. Am I asking for too much?

Lori called. She is doing the "I don't know what I'm going to do about my life" thing again. I get so exasperated. She has all those degrees, yet cannot seem to get ahead in life because of her personality issues. She overthinks everything... then does nothing. Everyone is the enemy... she is never wrong. She piles her problems into a bunch... then wants hand it off to someone else to fix. I know how loving you are mom, but Lori has been coddled and spoiled to the point that she is still an emotional baby. What am I supposed to do about this? We all make choices. It was her choice to stay there and live off of you all these years. Now she doesn't know how to function without you. She asked me the other day why I left home instead of staying with you. I told her that, it was hard, you didn't want me to go, you actually made it so easy to stay, but I needed to grow up. I don't think she gets it. I am trying to introduce her to adulthood in spoonfuls. Whew! You left me a chore! But I will be loving and patient... I know that's what you want...