Shanny2007's Journal

Devestation.. Mood

Thursday, July 24, 2008 | A Sad story

Well... I went in for my sono today and things are not good. First of all I started spotting brown blood today, not sure what that is all about. When I went in for my sono I had ONE follicle... One. 5 days of Reponex 150 & 4 Days of Follistim at 325 and I made ONE follicle. I made the same thing that any normal women makes unmedicated. They are waiting for my E2 to come back but if it is really low they are cancelling. My lining is super thin so they think it will be.

I have been crying uncontrollably since I found out. This is it for us.. if I can't make eggs then it is all over, we already don't have any sperm. I just don't understand why this is happening to us.. Why can't I just make 10 eggs.. 10 damn eggs to at least get a shot at this thing.

If they cancel I don't think i can do this again.. it is just too much. I can take the heartache... I don't know why this isn't in our plan and I just don't understand. It is so unfair. I need your prayers today.

**Update: The nurse just called and my E2 level was only 35 (it ws 32 on my baseline). They asked me to come back in tomorrow morning for another sonogram, but I can see the writing on the wall. They are going to cancel the cycle.

Hug Shann...

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Comments

I'll say some prayers for you. I know it's so hard and you feel like there aren't enough answers to all our questions. I wish doctors would know more. It's so hard when things can't be explined. All that you've done for others and keeping track of everyone's updates. Definitely say some prayers for you. I'm so sorry. I know it's so tough. I'm thinking of you. Hang in there.

tchfromtheheart
I am so sorry I am here if you need me

daisykfy79
Oh sweetie, that is awful. I am thinking of you (and praying for you - and I don't pray). It doesn't make sense...haven't you made more for the IUIs? Maybe different meds? Something must be going on. I used follistim for iuis and gonal f (and menopur) for ivf. Maybe different meds. I am not sure why I am trying to fix this...it just isn't fair. Please let me know if I can do anything.

laraM
Oh hon, I am so sorry you have to go through this. The last time I did a cycle with my own eggs, I only made 2 follicles even with all the drugs and they cancelled my cycle also. I know how heart breaking this is but dont give up. There are other options out there with third party reproduction...the teachnology now is amazing! I know this is nobody's first choice of how to become a parent, but sometimes the end result of being a mother outweighs the path in which you get there. I am always here if you want to talk, I completely empathize with what you are going through, hang in there. xoxo

bcgradgirl
I am so sorry that your appointment did not go well today--I will be praying for you to have strength and wisdom about what to do during this time--if you need anything, please let me know!

Alexus
I read your journal and wanted to say that I am sorry about your cycle. I will tell you that I had the same thing happen to me on my first try with IVF. I was only able to produce one follicle. I did convert it to an IUI. However, my RE then switched my plan to what is called a Flare protocol where there is less Lupron and stims start early. That protocol allowed me to produce 4 follicles. All 4 matured and fertilized and 3 made it to blast. I just wanted to add that there is hope and I pray that you can find some.

jkelly
I said a prayer for you. I am so sorry you have to go through this.

Julesx
I'm sorry, I wish you didn't have to go through this. Please don't give up, like some of the other ladies have mentioned, I've heard of trying different protocols and having better results second time around. I'm thinking of you.

Jen2279
Oh honey, you are in my prayers! I was a "slow responder," and thought I might get cancelled too. My RE put me on the highest dose of stims and I went for 10 days. I KNOW you have it in you, I hope they give you a chance. Don't give up!!!

albgray
I'm so sorry. I'm thinking & praying for you. I wish there was something I could say to help ease your pain. Big hugs! Keep your chin up & don't give up.

melissaas
I am really really sorry. Maybe it was just a bad month? I know people respond very differently sometimes month to month....I'm hoping the news tomorrow will be better.

AshleyPenelope
I’m so sorry Shannon, I know how excited you were and that getting here was tough so I can imagine your disappointment and for that my heart aches with you. You have me thoughts and prayers, just stay strong and take it one day at a time. If there’s anything you need that I can do just ask!

LoMac
I am so sorry. Hang in there and just take it one day at a time. We are all thinking of you and praying for you. Please keep us updated on how you are doing.

Bfriend09
Oh sweetie, I;m so sorry. I pray that things change tonight. Hang in there and let us know what happens.

HopefullySomeDay
I am so sorry!! I'll be praying for you. We are all here to help through no matter what happens.

DS17
Oh Shanny, I am so so sorry to hear all of this. I can't even imagine your feelings of disappointment and sadness. I will say tons of extra prayers for you tonight, my friend.

MrsStacy
Gosh, I'm so sorry hun. I will say a prayer for you. Hopefully things will turn around tomorrow.

angela48111
I am so sorry! There are no wrds to make this better or to make it go away. It is not fair the pain we indure as we struggle to be parents. I pray for the peace to fill you soul & courage to grow in your heart!

Jcurly
I'm sorry to hear about the bad news. Hopefully you will hear some better news tomorrow. I will pray for you.

amccleese15
Shanny... I am so very sorry to hear what you are going through! But there are different protocols! My first two cycles I did only stims and did not add a supresent, "cetrotide" until later to slow everything down, first time 11, second time 18. no bfps, but this time I started with lupron and two sonograms and 7 days later I still nothing to measure! ugh! Don't give up, perhaps they oversupressed you! My thoughts and prayers are with you!

Dreamer7
I am so VERY sorry! :-( I know how much a failed cycle hurts. You are in my prayers!

Lioness816
I am praying for you!

LoveKids33